thelikesofhull.co.uk

Ok, I’m on one. I admit it. After my last blog on controversial views of football really wasn’t very controversial and then me admitting my inner-City fan is flagging a bit in the blog before that and the response was still really good (you bloody softies) I thought a little deeper about what hacks me off about modern football.

Now I could write about that until the cows come home, from shitty Talksport and their cliched boring “lads” views, to the transfer window and that odd Scottish bloke wearing yellow and acting like a lad going on loan to Stoke is earth shattering…  not to mention the insane and preposterous money being pumped into this country’s game, which is so clearly unsustainable buuuuuuut…. nobody cares.

This feels wasted energy however (*Narrator’s voice* “So is this…”) so I tried to focus this little blog on what I think would be some positive changes to make to football, that would improve it as a spectacle and revive some of the past enjoyment that people no longer revel in.

So, here they are… as ever direct all your hate tweets to @thelikesofhull on Twitter and tell me I’m talking an absolute load of old Mark Bright. Or just like and retweet… whatever floats your boat…

Introduce League 3.

Virtually every team in the National League are either pro or have been in the football league, it isn’t the death sentence it once was to go out of the Football League. There’re fine traditional clubs in there like Notts County, York City, Southend, Oldham, Torquay etc etc. Have three up and three down, do the playoffs up to sixth like everyone else and bring this level into the Football League’s umbrella. It’s a pro league anyway and sides are unnecessarily marooned down there as only two go up, similarly a team who comes third bottom of League Two, thoroughly deserve to go down. Move on, football has changed and sort this out.

Radically change the league cup or scrap it.

Here’s a challenge for you. No google. Tell me the last five winners of the League Cup. I would tell you the answers but 1. I can’t be bothered to google it and 2. I don’t have a clue.

The league cup is a load of old tosh, from its odd rule allowing sides in Europe to come in later, to the outdated two-legged semi-finals, to the seemingly earlier and earlier final that nobody really cares about. It’s a waste of time as it is and should get the boot….unleeeesssssss… there’s radical change.

How about this? The EFL work with the SFL, FAI and IFL to have a British League Cup. You start out in four regions, South England, North England, Scotland and Ireland for a round or two but then you chuck them all together.

Now before you wisely say “But didn’t you just say we don’t want to play the Welsh in your last blog!?” I’d counter that with, yes I did… in the league… cup mate? Totally different…

Hearts vs Hull City (Edinburgh beers anyone?) Celtic vs Spurs, Millwall vs Rangers ( I’d put the eyes emoji if I could here) Grimsby vs TNS…

It would be instead of the second cup comp in all of the countries and the final rotates around the four countries. Move the games to Saturday too, and let’s play more league games in the week instead. It would be a lot of things potentially, but boring wouldn’t be one of them and I think people would actually get a kick out of it. Perhaps literally, but, you take my point.

Get some more terrestrial TV games on for kids starting with the FA Youth Cup and U21 league.

I work in a fairly underprivileged area. When it’s the FA cup kids suddenly bounce into school and want to talk to you about football. Why? Because they’ve been able to watch it, as it’s on BBC or ITV. We have a generation of kids who are either priced out of football or come from families that simply don’t prioritise it. But the kids love it. A good mate of mine takes the kids in his school to League One and Champ games and the British Basketball finals and they love it too. The sad thing is football is really quite middle class, especially in the higher ends and we need to give the next generation something to hook them. If kids don’t get taken to live games, it really isn’t their fault, let’s give them a bit more because we really can.

 I love the FA Youth cup and think it’s so under promoted. If I told you tomorrow City’s FA Youth Cup tie at Bradford was live on TV on a Monday night, you’d nearly all watch it. I went to watch a very young Max Clark best a very young Ivan Toney in the FA Youth Cup 4^th round ten years ago and it was fantastic. The same is with the U21, in the states college sports are huge because it’s your chance to see the stars of tomorrow. We really haven’t woken up to this. Give these games away on terrestrial TV and it’s a win win all around.

Have a basic identical kids away ticket price across the football league

I was lucky that I had a Dad who took me to games, many don’t or can’t which has led to the third suggestion. But the days can be expensive these days. City have their house in great order in this regard which has helped bring many fans back to the game. I’d love though a ticket for say under twelves to be a tenner for all away games across the league. If twenty is plenty is a great campaign (and I think it is) then a tenner for any kid away is something all clubs can get on board with. I think other football country’s models show that if you bring down those costs you’ll make it up in the concessions stands or the club shops. I’d love to see something like this in place to really attract the next generation into football.

Less is more

Now this one really is pissing in the wind, but bear with me. There’s too many games and I think most people would agree with that, however games equals money equals revenue and the self-same teams who moan about fixture backlogs will then go ahead and totally contradict themselves by taking teams to far flung corners of the world to play “Friendlies”

There’re some things you can’t avoid though in terms of games, but the big one I think is a massive waste is in Europe. Group stages in everything is both a rip off and generally mind bogglingly boring.

Here’s the answer in all three European trophies. 128 teams go in the Champs league, Europa and Conference and are seeded. That goes down to 64, 32,16,8,4 and 2. Play two legs and knockout from day one, no away goals, pens after 180 mins if it’s a draw. Nobody can put out weak teams and take it lightly, you know you have to turn up and support and watch. Play like muppets and you’re done. Teams will go on unlikely runs, big boys will fall, it’s must watch TV. If you’re Arsenal and you get done 2-1 away at Athletico Kebab, you better come all guns a blazing in the second leg.

Less is more. It would change games into totally meaningful encounters. It’ll never happen… but boy would it be fun.

Retro player subs.

Ok this is my mental one, but hear me out.

Every team has eight over forty-year-old players signed on who must have played over 50 games for the club. On the first league fixture of the month you must name your classic retro sub on the bench. On the eightieth minute you MUST put on your classic sub.  You can make other subs as normal. You can bring him on in any position you want. Both teams must do it and at the same time.  You try to keep your classic lads in half decent shape, just in case.

Imagine, 0-0 at City vs Sheffield United in the run in. They bring on someone shit like Michael Brown or Michael Tonge or some bloke called Michael.

We bring on Geovanni Deiberson Maurício Gómez…

He strides on the pitch, the K-Com goes mental… Acun’s Mrs has no idea who he is but good grief she’s enthusiastic… Acun just smiles like the Turkish Simon Cowell and realises Geo will be shattered by the time he makes him play five-o later… with a minute left Geo receives a ball into feet, spins off and hits a Brazillian Rocket…. Straight past a bloke called Michael in goal….

Scenes.

Thanks for reading UTT.

I’m not going to lie, I’m struggling to generate content a bit at the moment. I’m doing the series “The Boy was a larker” for the HCST newsletter and I can do that for days, as there’s so many great players of the past I can wax lyrical over but I’m not exactly sure why I’m so lacking on the current product though. I mean things are going quite, well aren’t they? We don’t lose much and should be pretty steady, we have an ace gaffer who I think could genuinely have us there or thereabouts next season and it’s all a little less hectic than it was in the early months of the new ownership.  Maybe, just maybe I find myself swimming against the tide recently though and maybe it’s my pedantic soul, but I just don’t align that much with opinions that swim around the internet in 2023, some City related, some not. So, I thought… ah go on… I’ll give you them. I know this might trigger a bunch of people, but such is life, we all don’t think the same… and I’m not even certain I’m right… (no… really… I am)

Anyway… here’s six unpopular opinions about City and one about football in general. I’d love to hear yours so please send your hate tweets to @thelikesofhull on Twitter. Cheers.

1.We really are massive name snobs at football.

Ok, why are we doing so many backflips for new players signed who played abroad when there’s lads right in front of our faces that deserve better? Yes, some of the signings have done very well (see Estupinan, O and Seri, JM) and some have flashed quality and had moments (see Tufan, O) but some have massively underwhelmed or straight up been average (see Figueredo, T and Sinik D). The defence has been largely saved from the verge of farce this season down to the super sexy names of Alfie Jones, Sean McLoughlin, Matt Ingram, Cyrus Christie and Jacob Greaves, Cyrus has quite rightly scored the plaudits, but the other four have been really consistent, and yes that isn’t flashy, but neither was Andy Dawson, Peter Skipper or Michael Turner and last time I looked they did ok. We are going to need a core of players that get this league to get out of this league. Give the less fashionable players a little more love please.

2.I don’t hate Leeds United.

There. I said it. I think it quite often and it needs establishing. If you’re from Leeds or North Yorkshire, fill your boots. Although their ground is minging for away fans, the noise is way above the average in the Premier League and it usually adds a little to even an “ok” game. I don’t love them, or want them to win, but I don’t want anyone else to. Here’s the thing, I don’t like Hull based Leeds fans, and I find them as comical as I do sad, especially the ones that remember where they are from for Rugby Leeeeeeague, but not football. That’s who I want to lose, those fans, I want them to spend loads of money chasing success up and down the M62 and fail miserably. But to me that’s a totally different thing to the actual club and current team. I care no more or less about them than I do about Plymouth Argyle or Ipswich Town. Just another team.

3. “Once a tiger always a tiger” is a massive contradiction and a load of old cobblers.

When players leave or tweet about baking a cake, you can bet your mortgage that a ton of twitter followers will use the above phrase and blow smoke up the exit hole of said player. This saying is nonsense. Jimmy Bullard is not always a tiger and neither is Terry Dolan or even league winning manager Grant McCann in the view of many. So, it’s blatantly not true. Yeh sure, “Once a successful tiger that left in fairly positive circumstances and hasn’t had their hard drives taken away or spread flat earth theories, always a tiger” isn’t quite as catchy but it’s also much more accurate.

4. If the current investment doesn’t work and get us out of the league, will those who say “we have our club back” hang around?

This is something I’ve thought for a while. The current owners are pretty likeable. They’ve done a lot of good PR things, and listened to the fan base, even elements of the fan base that may hold some “interesting” views. We’ve rolled the dice this year (and let’s be honest, not done that much better than last year’s team who were on much less money to this point) and will probably roll again next year. But if this doesn’t work, and we don’t hotfoot it to the high life, what then? We’ll surely have to find some significant savings and offload. It could and probably would unravel. Just remember this if it does. Lots have come back because of the return of concessions, well priced options and new era. But let’s be honest, some have just because we’ve signed some big names and they think we’re on the up. Let’s see where they are if it all goes a bit Derby County.

5. I don’t want KLP back, although it was quite funny we asked.

Keane Lewis Potter surprised me a little this summer, he was surely going to get another improved deal, he was playing for his hometown club and then the club matched his ambition. I think agents were agents though and he was determined to leave, which is his right but it kind of killed a bit of that hometown boy reputation. It felt early to leave and you kind of figured he wouldn’t get much playing time. Well, look who won the pony…  he hasn’t. I think he’d have flown this season and if he’d have given it just one more year (or even six months) his star would have risen so much further, plus this could put us right in the mix right now. It did give me a wry smile when we asked Brentford about him coming back on loan though, yes, yes, I know it makes me a bad person and all that. But it really did.

6. All rise King Elder, the player that ran rings around the fan boys and won.

“Once a tiger always a tiger”, Jeez, we can’t even be half decent to those who ARE tigers. Yes, he may have had a few beers and said things were a bit rubbish, yes, he maybe shouldn’t have done, but hands up who hasn’t said a few loose things after a beer? He’s human, players are just us, but they’re much, much better at football. The overreaction of the fan boys with Turkish flags in their bio was as hilarious as it was out of all proportion. Then, an injury or two, and look who’s back in the team? He’s a solid champ player, he looks like he should be opening the batting at the MCG and I love him, someone give him a golden brewdog can immediately. What a guy.

7. I wanted Sheffield United to beat Wrexham. Because Welsh teams should be in their own league and cup.

This one really is a little out there. I don’t like Sheffield United very much at all, I’m old enough to remember them celebrating at Turf Moor and 10-year-old me always swore to hate them. But I laughed and laughed when ten men United spoiled the day of Ryan Reynolds and Wrexham. I have no idea why historically Welsh teams play in the EFL (the clue is in the first letter) but there’s plenty of them and they could easily form a bit of a more rubbish Scottish Prem, Cardiff City, Swansea, Wrexham, Newport County, Merthyr Tydfil, Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch, all the big names.

 They don’t like England, they don’t like English teams and they live to watch England lose. Go form your own league and save us three hundred-mile round trips whilst you’re at it. I’ll never understand why they’re in our league, you don’t have Swiss teams in Serie A, or Portuguese teams in the Primera League. Plus, their champions could go in the prelims for the Champs league, go on boys, you know it makes sense, make the plunge lads and all the best, send us a postcard etc.

Thanks for reading folks. UTT.

Unpopular opinion I know…

I’ve been wrestling with this topic for a while and I know that by writing it, I’ll inevitably get some criticism, or disdain, or probably both but after really sitting down and giving it some thought over Christmas I’ve decided to go ahead with it, because if you like the blogs or not (and a lot of you kindly have said some really nice things) I think I’m fairly well known for being both quite balanced and honest.

I went to the Blackpool game on Boxing Day with my cousin that I’ve watched football with since we were kids. It was fine, I mean, we were neither awful or great, but it’s early days for the new manager and he’s largely managing players he didn’t bring in. It was nice seeing my Uncle before the game and a few of the supporters trust in the Clarendon pre-match.

We’ve been on a good run since and I honestly think we’re in good hands with Liam Rosenior. He’s a bright and articulate manager, who is clearly a good coach, he connects with the City and although I highly doubt he’s a teacup thrower, I think he’s a strong minded individual who is going to do things his way. If players are prepared to graft and adjust (see Tyler Smith) they’ll fit right in, but if not, I get the impression he’s prepared to wave goodbye. Good for him, these are principles that I think you can build a really strong a committed team with.

Blackpool was only I think the third game I’ve been to this season, although I’ve seen a lot more on TV. I’ve been a bit unlucky that I was unavailable for two London based games in Watford and Millwall, but that’s not an excuse. I’m just not really enjoying it as I once did. The question I’ve been mulling over in the past few weeks is why? I’ve been watching City for pretty much 40 years, (the first long run of going was after Don Robinson saved the club in 1982) there’s certainly been worse times. So what’s the cause of my malaise? I’m not one hundred percent sure to be honest but I think it’s a mix of things, some club related, some not.

Let’s start with the City related reasons. Yes we were terrible earlier this season, but I went to the entertaining (albeit a little fortunate) win against Norwich, and that was fun. You can level a few criticisms towards the new owner, but his intentions are on the whole good I think and he’s certainly trying to be more fan orientated than the previous regime. He’s backed the club in terms of signings, although like early Adam Pearson you get the impression he’s got a little too close to the goings on pitch side. The crowds are better and even though we are as I write in the wrong half of the league, there’s enough evidence to suggest we won’t stay there.

I think my first strike though this year was QPR away. I went as it was London and met my mate Rich Skipper (son of Pete) before the game. We’ve communicated quite a bit since I did a blog on his Dad so it was nice to see him in person. Now the City performance that day was dire, essentially we were dead and buried inside the first 55 minutes and 3-0 down. But that wasn’t THE problem. There wasn’t a nice atmosphere that night, and I’m no shrinking violet. I’ve been at City games in the last 40 years that have got decidedly hairy. But this was different. It was in a word, pathetic. A group of youngish lads simply focused on some QPR fans and rang out a set of stale, hackneyed cliched songs about Jeremy Kyle, and fat people, and general misogynistic claptrap. It was irrelevant to the game, it gave the players no support, it was just, to quote Brian Laws “naff”.

We scored that day with about seven or eight to go. Tyler Smith. I didn’t see it, I was walking towards the tube station, bored of a tame performance and feeling pretty despondent about our brand of “support”. Now I can understand here if you don’t agree, at least with my sentiments, as it’s not the first time I’ve seen City fans be a bit embarrassing, and I doubt it’s the last, so maybe it’s me that’s changed a little bit. Like several of us might have changed since lockdown. It just didn’t seem fun anymore, we’ve only got a finite amount of time to do other things that aren’t just working and existing and that night was kind of the epitome of what I’d rather not do. Pay for an expensive rail ticket, an expensive seat, watch a tepid City team and be seemingly in a minority that wasn’t really interested in an overweight QPR fan and his daughter.

Yet attendances are going up. So maybe I am wrong. Like I alluded to earlier, I think there’s been some miss-steps by the new owner, but I can genuinely see what he’s doing and I think he’s learned some quick lessons. I think the whole “holiday” thing was a little divisive, with it being a little bit more about who you were, than being an actual loyal fan. Now I couldn’t think of much worse than going away like that, but I think we could all think of a City fan in our lives that would have loved to have gone and probably deserved it. I know I can. It’s maybe a modern thing and it’s more important to have those go who would be upwardly mobile in sharing the experience rather than just the ones who have gone week in week out forever. On one level it was successful, and good PR though, a little like the owner turning up at a local pub.

Again I have mixed feelings about this. Sure, interact with the real fans, and that sort of gesture is appreciated, but maybe pop to Pearsons once a season, The William Gemmell, The Clarendon, The Dugout etc. It’s not about one set of fans, it’s about all of them, it’s somewhat of a slippery slope to select fans who are “important”. They all are. And again this isn’t about me, I have no desire to ruffle the hair of the owner and say “thanks for saving us mate”. I’m happy to let others do that. We’re all just fans, I think some of the twitterverse in particular have lost sight of this in recent months. We don’t have to agree or look at the team or the club in the same way. It’s probably best we don’t.

The last bit is on me. I’ve coached football a lot in the past and somehow post lockdown, got dragged back into it. I’ve done some scouting of lower league football for a mate as he’s starting his football management career, it’s a process I’ve actually really enjoyed, probably more than I thought I would. This isn’t on City, I think there’s a few of us that since 2020, had to find something to do to stay sane, and that’s took us off the beat and path a little. So that’s not City, it’s just life I guess.

I saw a mate at the Clarendon on Boxing Day and he’s an exile too. We were talking about the fact that although Reading has the atmosphere of the Deli counter in Waitrose, the area on the outside of the stadium is very good. It’s got big outside bars, a huge screen showing the lunchtime game a plenty going on. It’s a real lesson to us in developing the site around our ground. Anyway I said I’ll go to that game and meet him. Forty odd years isn’t going to just end, and me punching the air like a div in my front room yesterday as we scored three quick goals at Wigan would suggest I’ll always care. I’m just not sure if it’s as much. And although some of those reasons are personal. I’m not sure I’m entirely alone.

Thanks for reading. UTT

There’s something I’ve seen as a phenomenon in recent years and that’s something called “Consumer guilt”.

Meaning we feel bad as the consumer for the behaviour of the company or people that make the product. Not the system that allowed Amazon to dodge tax and monopolistic behaviour or Nike to employ people in poor conditions and under pay, or the company themselves, but blame ourselves and somehow make us complicit in this act. 

Now, there’s fine lines here and sometimes the behaviour of a company is so reprehensible (like Kanye’s West’s behaviour in the last couple of years, or the appalling indie pop music of the Leeds United associated Kaiser Chiefs) that most decent people are right to not wear Kanye’s overrated trainers or listen to “I predict a riot”. But overall, we aren’t to blame for all the world’s injustice and if you really did try to live your life in 2022 without eating, watching, wearing, listening to, drinking or eating something that wasn’t somehow associated to some dodgy behaviour, I don’t think you’d be particularly well fed, clothed or hydrated. 

I guess the point I’m getting to here is, it’s not our fault the World Cup is in a place that’s less than ideal to host it. Now I’m not going to go through this with a fine-tooth comb because it’s getting done to death, but at best it feels a little hollow, and at worst the world really should have stood up to FIFA and their spineless and cretinous behaviour. 

However, here we are. And how I feel? Well… I don’t really feel much at all, and it’s nothing really to do with the moral or political points. 

It’s partly because it’s in the middle of winter, and the current dark and dingey England we mainly populate, rather than in the long hot summer, where we can have a cold cider and relax to watch the games. It’s partly because there’s been no real run up and we were in the midst of a season and it’s partly because it’s not accessible to people because of the cost to attend or the timings to watch. 

But here’s miserable me! It’s also the first World Cup in a while without a Hull City player (a nod to Harry Maguire and Jackson Irvine as former alumni and I think a certain current Iranian forward would have certainly played but for injury). 

Now I can cheat slightly here as we’ve just swatted the said Iranians away with ease. Let’s hope it continues, we certainly have talent going forward and at least under Southgate we’re had an identity for the last 5 years. I’d say quarters or semi finals for England but get a good draw and you never know. We do look a little vulnerable at the back though. 

What about a good outsider? I’m biased because the other half is Danish, but I think they’ll be a threat, with lots of young talent from the Euros like Damsgaard and Maehle, but with a couple of new threats, not least Jesper Lindstrom (who you may have seen in the Europa League last year for the eventual winners Eintracht Frankfurt) and the much underrated Joachim Andersen at Palace too. I think they’ve got the ability to go deep into the competition. 

I certainly think a few surprises might crop up, but not in such a way to help me in World Cup Sweepstakes,….where I’ve draw Japan twice… and Poland. Bloody hell. At least Kamil Grosicki might play eh?

Right I’m off up the pub to drink an ethically brewed IPA that give their profits to the homeless….mmm… actually… I’ll probably have a Guinness.

See you at Watford everyone. 

UTT. 

Like most people I knew Regan Slater had flashed some signs of being handy during our League One promotion season, and he clearly had some promise. However, as City at the time were not in the business of shelling out large transfer fees, our pursuit of him in 2020-21 wasn’t exactly one for the ages. Perhaps because Sheffield United had changed managers, perhaps because they had a lot of star quality players with Premier League experience and “bigger fish to fry” as such, but either way someone at that club should now be sitting firmly on the naughty step. The promising player we’d seen the year before was now verging on dominant, and week on week and month on month, he’s only got better. At best they let us pick their pockets for what amounted to two weeks wages for some of their “stars” at worst they’ve handed us a player that could right now be in their team pushing them towards the top league. I highly doubt any of their fans would read this, and if they did (without seeing him play) they will have decided that isn’t the case, which only really serves to show that they are the sort of set up that deserved to be robbed blind in broad daylight in the first place. We can’t talk exactly anyway, during our big money days we managed to let several players slip between our fingers that we’d later regret, like a Tom Cairney or a Connor Townsend, I guess that’s a classic case of first world problems.

Either way, we’ve got him, we love him and the fact we’ve swiped him from a club that fans of a certain age absolutely detest, just makes it sweeter. Now, whilst admiring his second goal on Tuesday night, it got me thinking. In my era who are the biggest bargains we’ve found? Older examples of robbing other clubs blind.. so after some thought and a flick through the ever amazing Tigerbase, here’s my top 10 bargains of my era. Feel free to add suggestions or send your hate tweets to @thelikesofhull. Enjoy..

1. Peter Skipper £10,000 from Darlington

Skip was one of a few players where we learned from our mistakes, somehow, we managed to let an incredible (if a little raw at that point) talent out the door, but then brought him back in short shrift and benefitted hugely. He went on to become a genuine legend of the club, scored the winning goal to take us back to the second level and incredibly he didn’t miss a game from August of 1982 to October of 1985. Have a look at my piece “You’ll never beat Peter Skipper” if you haven’t already. Linked here.. https://www.thelikesofhull.co.uk/451831090.html but Skip was straight out special. A proper defender who knew it was all about timing and shutting the door at the right time. I’m not sure we’ll ever see his likes again in terms of how he played. Either way ten grand was a ridiculous steal and when he left it would take us more than a decade to find a centre back that could lace his boots.

2.Boaz Myhill £50,000 from Aston Villa

I think I just read from the club Twitter that Bo just turned 40. Wow, time flies. It’s quite possible that Spurs could still be playing in the game from the 2009-10 season at White Hart Lane and wouldn’t have scored. He was that good that day.

Another player who arrived a little under the radar but slowly became an integral part of the team that climbed the leagues and would make itself at home in the top division. Again, like Regan, I think there was just so much talent at Villa they couldn’t keep everyone, but boy did Adam Pearson and Peter Taylor steal one from them here. He was in terms of a shot stopper peerless, perhaps only second to Tony Norman all time in many fans’ books, but if he had one thing on the flying Welshman (I guess he kind of was a bit Welsh too) it was reaction saves. Anyone who was at the Watford away game in the play-offs or was watching at home will attest to this. His save changed the direction of that tie, that would ultimately see us promoted to the Premier League for the first time ever two games later. An incredible player bought at a paltry price.

3.Andy Dawson Free from Scunthorpe United

Now this is cheating a little I guess, as we’re now in the Bosman Era of transfers. You can’t imagine though, that despite his credentials that Scunthorpe would have got much more than low six figures for their left back in the Summer of 2003, so I think either way he was a bargain of gigantic proportions.

It’s funny that in the world cup run up fans I know have increasingly realised the value of Kieron Trippier, both in terms of his all-around play and also his wonderful delivery from set pieces. It was a similar double whammy that Daws brought. Not incredibly fast, but fast enough, not a hulking brute, but capable of looking after himself and going back to my first entry, a sense of timing that was “Skipper-esque”, but on top of all that his corners and free kicks were absolute mustard, he made several careers, not least Stuart Elliott’s as he picked him out time after time.

Like Bo and Ian Ashbee they formed a core of players that helped us do what most would think impossible now and climb the entire ladder of professional football. He was without a shadow of doubt the best Dawson to play for the club (there I said it) and as if that wasn’t enough he brought some much-needed stability and stoicism this season when Shota got his marching orders. Daws did what he always did, steadied the boat, understood the club and made us all a little better. The fact Scunny didn’t get a packet of skittles for him, just makes it sweeter. 

4. Billy Whitehurst £2500 from Mexborough

I’ve covered the fact that Billy was basically a terrorist in a football kit here on the blog at https://www.thelikesofhull.co.uk/453088608.html and he was the most frightening man in football. However, Billy stories kind of cover up the fact he was actually a very gifted played in many respects. Thanks to the legendary Chris Chilton he was the best natural player in the air that City fans had seen in many a year and had an underrated touch on the ball.

Bill could play two ways, either the flying target man, eating up crosses from the likes of Billy Askew or a supporting role for others, not least of which was Keith Edwards in both of their second stints at the club. In this guise Billy was an out and out provider to perhaps the best finisher the club ever saw. Either way £2500 was a ridiculous bargain for someone who brought so much success to the club.

5. Richard Jobson £40,000 from Watford

Young Mr Jobson was a bargain in the long term, but it wasn’t an overnight success. He stepped into Brian Horton’s very successful 1984-85 squad and was a clever bit of business by a manager that made several fantastic purchases. However, we had a partnership at the time for ages, that of McEwan and Skipper and Jobbo as the junior of both had to be patient. This wasn’t exactly a dream start and the homesick player (despite being born in Hull he was raised in the south) disappeared back down south without permission during that year. Horton being ever the clever taskmaster, brought him back, sat him on the naughty step and made him bide his time.

By the time he started getting regular football we were in the old second division and he was now showing exactly why we bought him. Again, he’s in many fans’ choice for the best centre back they’ve seen. Languid, clever, very good on the ball and classy, he stood out a mile. By the late eighties he was arguably the best defender in the league and as City ran out of money he was sold to the (at the time) wealthy Oldham Athletic.

Jobbo was something special, and forty grand was a absolutely daylight robbery.

6. Ian Ashbee Free from Cambridge United

I still remember Cambridge fans at the time on message boards when we signed Ash. Telling us he’d be booked all the time (that wasn’t entirely wrong) he’d point a lot (again, fair play) and how limited he was (now this one I’m not having). Was he prime Declan Rice? Maybe not. But football is based on winning individual battles, and I’m not sure Ash knew how to lose one.

He was perhaps the only good thing Jan Molby did for the club, apart from leave. (ok he signed Elliott too)

Again, like Bo and Daws, he was the mainstay of how we scrapped and clawed our way up the leagues. But it wasn’t just this combative side that people loved. He had moments of top class in his locker, see the legendary goal to seal promotion number one at Yeovil in 2004. Ash was a dying breed, a leader, a tone setter and a changing room presence. He allowed the likes of Green, Barmby, Okocha or Elliott to win the games we’d been used to losing in tough away days for years because nobody was going to get the better of the middle of the park whilst he was alive.

Quite simply a club legend and mind boggling that we didn’t pay a penny for him.

7. Jarrod Bowen Free from Hereford United

They asked Steve Bruce about the performance of Jarrod Bowen after he equalised against Villa in the first game back in the Championship and reminded him that it was during his tenure that we managed to pick him up from a (soon to be bankrupt) Hereford United. The ever dry former City manager just looked at the interviewer and said. “Thanks for reminding me about that”.

Yes, it was probably not a transfer he had a great deal of input to, but you could feel his pain, because by then it was fast becoming obvious that we’d somehow managed to procure a talent that should have cost us a pretty penny.

City weren’t often an easy watch in this era, but without a shadow of doubt young Bowen and the Pole Kamil Grosicki were reasons to watch us. I think that first season in the championship we could and probably would have gone down without Jarrod’s goals. The ball was glued to his foot, he could carry it with speed, was happy to go inside or outside of a player and had an “Edwards” like coolness in front of goal.

The only real surprise was how long we hung on to him for. He may or may not be making the England squad as I write this (and he’s a little out of form of late so may just miss out) but not paying a penny for him may be the actual biggest steal we made in the history of this club.

8. Liam Rosenior Free from Reading

By pure chance I was visiting family in the October half term of 2010. With no league game during the week I went with the old man to Ferriby to watch the reserves vs Scunny. This was the first game of one Mr L Rosenior (I’m not entirely sure if he’d signed by then or was still on trial). Either way he stood out a mile that day and looked head and shoulders above anyone else on the field.

It was a no brainer for then City manager (and the most miserable man on the planet) Nigel Pearson to sign him and he proved to be some catch. Playing a major role as we rebuilt carefully after the financial hole we’d got ourselves in post-Premier league turned out to be more than just a few quid.

He’d wrack up 140 plus appearances, play a huge part in the promotion under Steve Bruce in 2012-13 and later the incredible FA Cup run. Rosey was a clever and athletic right back that didn’t really know the meaning of being less than seven out of ten. The City fans do love a grafter and he was certainly that as well as a big character within a fantastic team.

There was something else though, that X-factor that perhaps means a little bit more to a club. His Grandma was indeed from Hull and the City fans caught onto this. The “His Nan is from Hull” chant had now taken flight and he had the makings of a cult figure. As he showed in his interview last week when he was confirmed in the job, it meant something to him, and to his family, it made this bond special. But maybe this was less about us and more about him as a human being.

See this example… later on he’d left the club in 2015. We’d gone to three at the back a lot and he found it hard to prize himself into the line ups. Off he went to Brighton who (as per typical City) beat us in an early season game at the Amex 1-0. The 1500 or so City fans had clapped the players off when it became obvious that someone was making his way back. Liam had left his teammates to go and acknowledge the City fans, something you rarely see, and stood alone clapping us duly receiving the “Nan” song in response. A mark of the man that we are so glad is back home.

And a bargain to boot.

9. Tony Norman £30,000 from Burnley

I hate Burnley. I’m sure I’ve covered this many times before. I probably will again.

It’s largely just illogical rage, that dates back to that night in 1984. But… here we are.

Much like the Monty Python joke in the “The life of Brian”  about what did the Romans ever do for us? You could imagine me mid-John Cleese hatred of all things Claret and Blue and their pokey stadium with its wooden seats plus long ball hell and someone could chip in with.

“Tony Norman?”

And I’m thrown like Cleese in the great film.

“What?!”

“Tony Norman? The greatest ever goalkeeper to play for our club? Only 30 grand in 1980? Went on to play full international football and help us get two promotions in three years?”

“Fine!!! But apart from Tony Norman, who was the greatest goalkeeper to ever play for our much-loved club, who cost 30 grand in 1980 and went on to help us get two promotions in three years, also playing full international football…. What have Burnley ever done for us!!?”

I’ll get my coat. (read this article on Tone here if you missed it before. )

https://www.thelikesofhull.co.uk/451883248.html

10. Garry Parker £70,000 from Luton Town

To be fair 70 grand wasn’t peanuts in 1986. But it also wasn’t a tiny percentage of Garry Parker’s worth. He was quite something. Touch, vision, balance and passing. The man could control games from the middle of the park.

Another one that Brian Horton somehow managed to pull out of the bag, probably down to his history with Luton Town, because it can’t have been a secret how talented he was. It’s probably why he’d only stay with us for two years before Brian Clough’s Nottingham Forest would come knocking out 300% profit in just 24 months.

He’s probably not spoken about enough. Because by his final year he’d started to add goals to his end product too, eight from the centre of midfield that season. The fact that Garry stayed in the top division for Forest, Villa and Leicester tells its own story.

We definitely short-changed Luton with young Mr Parker.

Thanks for reading as ever. UTT.