I’m a sod for this I know. You don’t see a blog from me on City for weeks and then I’m inbox-bothering you twice in a few days. Soz and all that but I guess once I do one, I’ve started thinking about stuff, and the next often follows…
Anywho… a bit of a change of tact from the usual as a couple of bits have happened to people I know recently and it’s made me think about how people are. I, like many of you have lots of groups I’m part of, whether literally (Hull City Southern Supporters, Real Bedford FC coaches, HCST) or whatapp, twitter, and other groups. I have quite a few people I’d regard as friends at City that I’ve barely ever met, in a very 2025 way. Luke Flanagan and Rich Walker for example did the “Tigers Tigers Blah Blah Blah” podcast some years ago, and they were kind enough to ask me to go on it a few times, we’ve always stayed in touch and not many weeks go by without a whatsapp being exchanged between us, often based on someone being a “meff” or just random stuff.
I hear from multiple City fans online that I’ve sometimes never met and I’m part of Twitter groups too, which has led me to get to know other City fans, I’ve met several in real life at games as a result. Again most likely like you, I’m part of more whatapp groups than I care to remember, whether it’s old school mates, a fantasy football league, beer or celebrating old school football games, these groups are sometimes fun, sometimes not and often pretty busy (god bless the mute button).
“So.. what’s he blithering on about again?” is what you’re no doubt thinking again dear reader and I’m gonna try to get to the point. (honestly) Recently an old friend of mine had gone through a bad time, I will spare you the details, but thanks to another very good mate of mine he was helped into rehab, and in the last 18 months or so has slowly recovered. He’s been through the mill and for a long, long time I feared the call would come to say he’s gone. It didn’t though, thank god, and although the demons are never too far from the doorstep for any of us, he’s been making progress. In a group I’m in with ten lads I went to middle school with, he rarely ever said anything for the longest time. Then this summer, he began to say a few bits, just join in with a daft joke, or ask a question. I took him out for lunch this summer, and we had a great time, laughing like little kids and remembering funny and stupid shit from the past. He’s not all the way back yet, but he’s in a better place.
I’ve another mate that’s struggling at the moment, again I won’t go in too deeply but there’s been tell tale signs he’s not right. The same lads in the same group have noticed too, I’ve tried to reach out and get him for a beer, it’s not going to be simple but I’m hopeful. Without some of these modern ways of communication, nobody might even know….so.. my point is this. We’re all existing in very different way in 2025 than we did in the past, I have old mates, online mates, whatapp mates, football mates, coaching mates, teaching mates, pub mates etc. I guess I even have Twitter mates?! I met Rich Skipper a few years back after I wrote a piece on his Dad Pete, we had a beer before we got paggered 3-1 by QPR and we have generally stayed in contact, I guess that’s an example. (Hello Rich… hope you’re well and enjoying the nice weather there…)
Men’s mental health is more and more under the spotlight. Suicide data shows that whilst 5.6 in 100,000 females commit suicide, that’s over three times higher in men at 17.1 per 100,000. The reasons are well established and I’m not going to turn this into a informercial (although increasingly it’s reading like one). My Uncle and big City fan back in the day was one of those men. I remember being at games with him and my Dad and cousins in the eighties, nineties and early two thousands. He loved City more than pretty much anything else. The last time I ever saw him, we were bemoaning how crap City were at half time when we were 2-0 down at Leyton Orient, near the start of the Adam Pearson days, he walked back to his mates and I never saw him again. He was a good lad and often in the years that followed, I’d wished he’d seen the better days the club had, he would have been so, so happy to have seen it.
Twitter can be a cesspit at times, and as City fans we’re not the best, it’s really saddened me to see young men (largely) posturing and threatening others, belittling and going after several fans on here. I just don’t get it. You don’t like them, we can see that, but that stuff can be paralysing and some people just don’t get over it, it deeply effects their mental health and they can slowly slide into crisis. And I’m not lecturing, I think at times I can laugh at the nonsense posted by others and even if it is deserved I don’t really know what good it’s doing. We can all try to be better in that regard I think. We can all be a virtual Ash, hugging Peter Taylor at Yeovil.
So finally here’s my point (longest pointless blog eveeeer), it’s hard in 2025. It’s hard for men, and I’m not ignoring female fans too, I’m just trying to address the statistics that show this threat. We’ve all got different types of interacting with each other, some virtual and some in person. Keep an eye out for your mates, if you’re feeling down, reach out to one of the ones you trust. Maybe ask a mate you’re worried about for a pint before or after the game or watch a game together in the pub, or just drop them a message. Because something as little as this could be the thing they need to get through the day. And if you are that person, the one who is struggling, be my old mate in the whatsapp group, people want to help you and you’re not alone, honestly.
During lockdown in 2021 me and my cousin watched every City game pretty much online together, it was a horrible time. There was a lot going on for both of us, but it was such a positive bookmark for the week. In retrospect it probably got both of us through it and looking back, it wasn’t much, it was just time spent together like a pair of divs, making jokes, cheering when we scored and being a general idiot. For reason’s best known to ourselves, we christened Josh Emmanuel “Sexy Josh” that season and would sing the WWE wrestler Shawn Michael’s theme music when he’d do something good, even now if I see he’s playing or got a move somewhere I can hear “He’s just a sexy josh… he’s not your boy toy” in my head. (my cousin won’t thank me for this, but after over fifty years of friendship he’s used to my stupidity and randomness)
We are lucky. We have Hull City, it makes (and sometimes breaks) our weekends. It’s made us mates and kept us entertained for years. Look after those mates, and those families, tread lightly sometimes, and be prepared to reach out. You never know the difference it might make, it might not seem like much to you, but it could mean the world to the person you message. Take care.
UTT.