thelikesofhull.co.uk

Hello everyone, and if you’ve moved to blue sky or are just reading this blog because you accessed it there, then welcome, I hope you enjoy it. I think I’m heading for my eightieth blog (*warning* this may be a guess) so please feel free to have a look around at previous work, this site will always be free as I’m just a fan sharing my two pennies and I’m really grateful for the nice comments and support you give the blog.

Anywhoodle… this season looks on the face of it, a hot mess. The championship is a cruel master and if you’re not well prepared (see our pre-season and last minutes signings), tactically naïve (can we all agree that our cover at attacking corners is going to repeatedly backfire?) and if you’re at odds (either players and manager, manager and fans, fans and owners) then chances are it won’t end so well.

We need a big improvement in every sense, we need to stop shipping stupid goals, start putting away chances and frankly to grow a sense of toughness that we currently don’t have, we’re a soft touch, lets face facts, survival this season might not be pretty but nobody will care too much if we are successful and back in the championship next season.

The manager? Well we’ll see. I don’t think he, like plump turkeys and Arsenal’s title chances, will be around at Christmas, but if he is, and it’s a big if, a lot has to change. Which led me to this blog. Who is the Michael Turner in this squad circa 2006? Not doing enough/great/the business but capable of being a game changer. In reality we need more than one, I’d say we need a defensive one and an attacking one, possibly a midfield one too!

So here’s three players who we really need to fall out of the Geovanni tree and hit every branch pretty soon. I hope you enjoy, feel free to tell me to shut my face on bluesky, x and any other forum you might find me on. Cheers folks.

The Underachiever

1. Abu Kamara

We haven’t seen the best from this young man clearly, but cometh the hour and all that. To be honest, it’s more cometh the injury list as early on in his stint with us, Abu was behind Liam Miller, Mohamed Belloumi and possibly even Abdul Omur in the pecking order. Belloumi’s form in particular made him almost an automatic choice out wide, but two ACL’s later and Kamara is probably our most natural wide player.

What offers us hope? Well, he was by all measures dynamite last season as Portsmouth were promoted, scoring eight and weighing in with plenty of assists too. The Norwich “welcome” for him earlier in the season was for a reason, Abu thought, much to the chagrin of the big handed chicken feeders that he was too good to sit around on their fringes and wasn’t shy about letting them know. Well.. Abu.. if you’re ever going to show why they should have never let you go, the time is now.

The one thing I feel we’ve lacked is a quality deliverer of the ball from wide, if Bedia or Pedro get a higher quality of cross, they could both be match winners, but most of that quality has come from the now missing wingers or Sir Lewis of Coyle and Cody Drameh at full back. Abu proving himself as a genuine wide threat and taking the game to the opposition could turn around this season. Let’s hope he rises to the occasion.

The known quantity

2. Kasey Palmer

What I don’t think we have in mass is experience of this level. That’s shown at points, where we’ve lifted the “Ooh didn’t they play well cup” but in the big moments, done enough to lose. Coyle, Slater and Jones are examples of that within the current squad, but many (not all) of the players we’ve brought in have the bulk of their experience outside of the champ. A notable exception is Kasey Palmer. I’ll admit that I’ve been a little puzzled as to why he has been a fairly marginal presence this season. To me he’s kind of what we’re missing, he’s industry, he’s toughened up to this league and he’s non-stop. He hasn’t by all accounts ripped up trees when he’s played but I feel it’s a run of games he needs, if we’re going to see the best of him. In my mind, less is sometimes more, and it feels like we’ve tried to field lovely footballers, but you need a little more steel. Thus Kevin Francis complemented Theo Whitmore and more recently Jake Livermore murdered you for going near Tom Huddlestone.

I’d like to see Kasey get the chance, because hard work is definitely going to be a key asset in the situation we’re currently in. As the old man said many years ago about the (frankly terrible) team Mark Hateley assembled. “You don’t get out of a field in a Rolls Royce”… I don’t quite know what the question was, but in 1998-99 the answer was Gary Brabin. I’m prepared to stick my head on the chopping block to suggest that one of the answers this season could be Kasey Palmer.

The wildcard

3. Harry Vaughan

There… I said it. Harry F’in Vaughan. Barely a factor in nearly two years and with a hair cut like a kid in Year eleven that’s refused to go to the barbers because he doesn’t want to bow down “to the man”. Two seasons back young Harry burst onto the scene and looked some talent. My Luton supporting mate still asks about where the little lad is that ran the game against them. What’s the answer to that question? God knows…

I like you dear reader don’t really know why it went south for Harry. He’s been loaned out to Bristol Rovers and more recently has been successfully playing for the U21 team who have done a damned sight more winning than the first team have.

Now don’t get me wrong, it’s a bit left field, but sometimes when you’re stuck in a tricky situation a great idea is to promote within and like lads who’ve stepped up in the past like Jarod Bowen, Keane Lewis Potter or Josh Tymon, the feel good factor of a youth player making it gives everyone a lift, the fans, the club and the players.

There’s something there with young Harry, he’s got “it” the only question is can we nurture that and perhaps get him involved in a first team squad. Like I alluded to earlier wide play is a problem. Harry Vaughan might just be the answer that nobody saw coming.

Thanks for reading UTT.

Most City fans seem to be of the opinion that Tim Walter has “jumped the shark” and that he has mixed himself a cocktail of poor results, a baffling style, some odd selections then stirred it with a dash of fan criticism and there’s no going back. Can I say they are wrong? Probably not. Although the owner hasn’t pulled the trigger as I write, he’s hardly been banging the drum to say he’s not near the end either. Which would suggest Timmy Walts should probably get on Kayak and look at some flights from Manchester back to Germany in the next few days.

Could we all be wrong? Maybe. But if he does make the next game, then anything but a rousing performance in nine days at Luton will surely be the end for the shouty, cap wearing German and right now I don’t think there will be too many tears shed.

Fan wise, critical words aimed at Liam Rosenior on his exit have been miraculously taken back akin to the old Homer going back into the bush meme and the “well I’ll go home and away, love my club me” type posts have been particularly rare on socials of late. All this adds up to an overwhelming sense of apathy and anger in equal measure. The owners don’t tend to like to be seen as the bad guys, so you can’t help but imagine the end is near.

Which made me ponder dear reader. Who ever came back from the dead like T-Waltz needs to do? Who was persona non-grata and then (to quote Dumb and Dumber) “totally redeemed themselves”? Well I’ve documented three so that if Ze Gaffer was looking for hope, might just give him a little helping of it. Stranger things have happened. Just like it did to these folks.

Send your hate tweets to @thelikesofhull on X/Twitter before everyone pops off to Bluesky and I hope you enjoy it.

1. Warren Joyce

Warren wasn’t a bad player, he was a centre mid that was fairly combative and when surrounded by some talent (which he was in his early run with us in Windass, Peacock, Linton Brown etc) he was also quite effective. However when we assembled the worst ever team in our history in the 95-98 era he was just another part of the abject failure that we witnessed. To make matter worse he famously celebrated a goal in front of an empty stand rather than with the protesting fans (who had every single right to protest and more) and that was him in the bin for me, and many others.

What followed was quite stunning. He stepped in to run the team as probably the most experienced player when Hateley was finally put in the ejector seat and whining div David Lloyd thankfully fucked off never to be seen again. It looked like your classic caretaker stint, but after the stunning win at Luton Town in the FA Cup, he bought himself a bit of time, and was able to call in the experienced Jon McGovern to help. The new owners including then Tom Belton gave him the ability to bring in a few players and the rest is history.

The Great Escape was more uplifting than young ‘uns these days can understand, not only had we lost any hope to survive in the league, we’d lost a lot of hope we’d survive as a club. Joycey galvanised an unlikely group of lads who gave everyone hope again, who produced basically play off form to get us out of the bottom 2. It was glorious. It was unexpected and it was life affirming. We weren’t dead, we were bigger than anyone thought we were and we were united in the cause again.

Just a year after this the dodgy, tax evading cretins released Warren from his role after a largely inoffensive mid-table season. But the once maligned figure of Warren Joyce wouldn’t ever be seen negatively again. He really did totally redeem himself.

2. Fraizer Campbell

There’s not really a ton of managers that totally redeemed themselves for a reason, for most, when it’s done, it’s done, there’s no going back, no turning things around. I’ve got one more in the locker but even then it’s a one that will split fans..

What won’t split fans is that Fraizer went from loved to hated, to quite like again and that it was quite the journey. I don’t need to regale you with the first stint, the goals, that assist, the endless work rate. I think he’s low key slept on for that first promotion. I think take out Fraizer Campbell and we probably don’t even get into the playoffs at all. He was endless problems for the opposition with his clever distribution, quick pace, counter attacking skill and goals. He was clearly a Premier League talent and very few Champ teams had the answers to him.

That summer he played a kind of contract footsy with City but didn’t commit and ended up as a make weight in the Berbatov deal to Man U, which meant inevitably he was a bench dweller. Well at least he got a good view of Geo’s incredible free kick that season. But it was a wasted year for him. City reportedly bid for him in that summer and again the next but both times young Fraizer chose other deals and he joined pink seated, blue drink consumers Sunderland following his Spurs stint, clearly not based on the nightlife or local sightseeing tours.

Listen this happens in football but FC then seemed to double down by being a prized bell end on the pitch against us. Never clearer than when he jumped on the back of a non celebrating and respectful Michael Turner when he scored against us and then sought the home fans out after scoring for Cardiff in what would be a promotion decider years later. Were City fans a tad sensitive? Maybe, but like a wrestling heel, Fraizer seemed to absolutely be delighted to poke the bear of our fan base. And boy did they let him know in return.

Then the unlikely return, in 2017 Fraizer signed a two year deal with City again. He wasn’t quite the same player he once was, but his work rate and passion had not diminished. He was a great role model for the likes of Jarrod Bowen and Harry Wilson and he chipped in with several key goals. It wasn’t a particularly good time to be a City fan and I felt there was comfort in watching the returning former prodigy. He felt like he’d come home, and the City fans took him back into their hearts. Full redemption? Maybe not quite, but by the time he quietly exited two years later, he did so on infinitely better terms than when he first left.

3. Grant McCann

I did say the last one would split you.

But the very fact there’s a split tells you how far he came. Grant McCann was every bit as despised as Terry Dolan, with his argumentative approach to interviews, his rigidity in his style and seeming inability to reflect upon any of his own contributions to the single biggest mid season collapse we ever witnessed.

Again I’m not going to tell you a very recent history lesson as it’s pretty fresh in the memory, but probably only Covid and the restrictions that came with it kept him safe out and about around Hull. Such was the level of anger about the humiliating end to the 2019-20 season. Even now I’ll have a couple of people pop up on the Twitter feed to say how he didn’t do anything to turn things round at all, but I think personally that misses the point.

We weren’t more than third or fourth favourites to go up in 2020-21 but we won the title and did it in the most surreal of circumstances. City were a source of hope and happiness where society had none and I for one won’t forget the positivity it brought me during the hardest of times. Players emerged from the title win like George Honeyman, Lewie Coyle and Keane Lewis Potter that would put a smile on anyone’s face even now, the players as much as Grant McCann also redeemed themselves that year.

I think that he also made a much better fist of the Championship the second time around and we were safely in lower mid-table when the new owners chose to go with their new man. We were no longer the hot mess we were just two years later. I almost enjoy the fact that it was someone so unlikely that delivered our first league title win in some forty years. It serves as a reminder that even in the most unlikely of circumstances, people can redeem themselves and be remembered in a different light. I told people in this off season Donny would go up, and I think they will. World class gaffer? Maybe not, but I think he significantly redeemed what would have been an utterly horrendous legacy with the eighteen months that followed.

Thanks for reading, keep the faith everyone. UTT.

Blame Adrian Gosling for this blog.

On Saturday after we’d just been paggered by the silence loving, sister fancying, faux internet hardmen for fans Norwich on telly, Adrian (who is often a very balanced and level headed city fan) commented on some of the criticism of young Charlie Hughes.

Now your author had only seen the first half, as I was travelling to Essex in the FA Trophy (we lost too, cheers East of England) so I hadn’t seen his performance. He’s just back from an appendectomy and is adjusting to the pace of the league, plus the demands T.Walter puts on his defenders. It did seem a tad harsh to be pulling him to bits already. Later on I saw the goal on TV, and I’m going to defend him a little. He gets stuck because he’s looking to pass it rather than lump it out, it’s a bad decision, he gets caught in two minds, but the intention was probably what the manager wanted.

But that’s the deal I guess these days, instant gratification, if someone isn’t instantly Mbappe, they’re “fookin shiiiiite” etc. Or whatever the kids say these days.(Editors note, I’m 51 and have no idea what the kids say these days.)

The window to be good, or prove you are is probably less than ten games in modern football, which if you really think about it is mind blowing. Less than ten games to be benched, put out of a squad and regarded as a failure. That just doesn’t sit right. I’m currently writing my 76th blog, something I started in the second lockdown to stay sane has carried on for over three years now and I honestly don’t think I was very good inside my first ten. (I fully embrace the fact I’m no Irvine Welsh after 76 but you’re here so hopefully I’ve got a little better).

Anywho Charlie Hughes might become prime Harry Maguire, or he could be a young Liam Ridgewell… but let’s find out, rather than go all in and expect too much.. because here’s five times it really wasn’t love at first sight.. but in the long run we did pretty well.

1. Billy Whitehurst.

Young William scored 10 goals in his first 96 appearances for Hull City, 76 of which were in the bottom division in football. The move from Mexborough to the Tigers was exactly sexy. We paid a princely sum of £2000, and in this era of the very early eighties the club were falling to new lows under Mike Smith and the absentee owner Christopher Needler.

Even as we’d turned a corner under Colin Appleton and in a stronger team he often looked devoid of the confidence, the touch and the vision needed to succeed in professional football. City had a lot of other goals on the pitch in Marwood, Mutrie, Flounders and later Massey. Billy was a boo boy, there’s no other real way to put it. But the club continued with him and kept nurturing him, nobody less so than the greatest of all time, Chris Chilton.

Chris took him on as a personal project and I remember Bill telling the story to the press about how Chillo put a ball on a rope from the stanchion of the goal and Billy had to jump and attack it. Let’s be honest, what Chris Chilton didn’t know about being a striker, wasn’t worth knowing. However I think (and anoraks feel free to prove me wrong) that the two biggest factors in the resurrection of Billy was Marwood and Mutrie leaving, then Brian Horton arriving. Brian had seen the great Brighton and Luton teams of the late seventies and early eighties and was a big part of it. He believed in good wingers who delivered high quality crosses into the box, and that ladies and gents was a bit of Billy.

With the other Bill in tow (Askew) the big man would rip up Division Three that season, scoring 24 goals in all competitions. He terrorised young England centre back Mark Wright in a league cup game at BP, he scored the winner in the improbable 3-2 victory of Derby County that many believed was THE game that really cemented promotion. He was the talisman by now and although finesse wasn’t one of his attributes, you couldn’t hide from the fact he was a new man. By the time we’d been promoted the stands were full of scouts and early in 85/86 he’d be on his way to Newcastle for nearly a quarter of a million pounds. Never a boo boy for City again.

2. Richard Jobson

Now Jobbo is the other side to the coin as Billy in almost every conceivable way. Where Billy was a bludgeon to open the door, Jobbo was a golden key, he oozed class and was incredibly comfortable on the ball. We’ve been spoilt for choice with centre backs in the last 40 years and oddly I think Richard Jobson has become slightly overlooked. He was more fluent and graceful than a Curtis Davies or a Michael Dawson, but he also had grit when it was needed, if he was twenty five right here and now, he’d be worth an absolute bomb, no doubt in my mind.

Anyway long story short, Brian Horton brought him in February 1985 for 40 grand from Watford, he’d made the first team breakthrough under Graham Taylor and although still 21, he had experience in higher leagues. That’s when it goes wrong though. A homesick Jobbo, not really playing in a settled and winning team went AWOL and went home and that, well that just wasn’t ok.

Horton like the disciplinarians he played under wasn’t having it and so the young upstart was dispatched to the role of extra pro at games (not on the bench in case you needed him) and kit carrying duty was started. He was well and truly put in the doghouse and deservedly so. Bit by bit the next season at the second level he’d get chances both in midfield and defence and the rest is history. He’d be sold to Oldham for £460,000 in 1990 and push himself to the fringes of the England squad in a distinguished and elite career. But a strong start it was not.

3. Michael Turner

Speaking of all time great defenders. I give you Michael Thomas Turner. The Lewisham Baresi. He was monstrous for City in the 2007-8 promotion winning year and in a play off final where we were on the backfoot for the majority of the game, you’d have to say Mickey T and Boaz were the backbone that meant Bristol wouldn’t have scored if we were still playing now.

Again the run up to this version of him didn’t look likely just a year earlier. Brought in by Phil Parkinson and thrust into the midst of the discontented start we made to 2006-7 Turner looked anything but the top class defender Brentford fans promised us. He looked ragged, mistake ridden and shaky, so just like Billy did twenty plus years before him, Turner got the treatment from the fans and found himself on the bench.

Like Brian Horton was for Billy, Phil Brown was for Michael and when he was phased back into the team he looked a new man, scoring an absolute pearler away at Luton and was an important factor in a underrated Houdini act to stay up that season.

He’d play every minute in the Premier League in our first year and he was simply incredible, taking to life at a higher level with ease. When City were subsequently skint the next season Michael was sold to the blue drink consuming, indecipherable accent fanbased Sunderland for a far too cheap four million pounds. Michael was really, really special and as good as anyone since Peter Skipper at knowing when to shut the door and stop a striker, but the start to his time was hugely underwhelming.

4. Eldin Jakupovic

There’s a few running themes with players in today’s blog. Either they came in with high expectations and struggled early to fulfil them (Jobson or Turner) or they came in through the kitchen entrance and people barely knew they’d arrived at all (Whitehurst and now Jakupovic). Initially Nicky Barmby brought him in as a free agent and wanted to sign him during the 2011-12 season, but after he’d been given his marching orders for an off the ball foul on Ehab Allam the Swiss stopper actually went on trial at Ipswich, before dinner lady faced nice guy Steve Bruce gave him a two year deal at the start of pre-season in 2012.

I don’t think most City fans even noticed. He was a third keeper essentially and there to train and hopefully work on his golf game. He did pick up the odd match that season when David Stockdale was recalled by Fulham but looked somewhat shaky in the process despite City doing relatively well. Stockdale was then brought back in that January and Jak sightings became all the rarer.

Shaky might be kind, during his last game against Sheffield “Bigger than Live Aid” Wednesday in January 2013, utter disaster struck and Jak juggled a harmless corner into his own net as we lost 3-1 to the single best supported club the planet has ever known. It was horrendous.

He was apparently “injured” in the self same incident but it did look an awful lot like it was his pride that was mainly dented. And that was that, City fans prayed we’d never see him again (he was twice loaned to Leyton Orient whilst picking up the very occasional appearance) whilst Eldin himself must have been relieved to be a bit part player himself.

We did get a sign of what was to come in early 2016 however as we drew Arsenal in the FA cup for the one hundred and fortieth consecutive time and Steve Bruce chose to rest some key players. Jak came in and played the game of his life. Basically everything fired at him he stopped, it was almost super human, because in reality we were completely dominated, add that to the iconic moment when Eldin sees his own save on the big screen and reacts in amazement and I’d say we as a fan base had forgiven him, and he had re-found his self belief.

Still he was largely a back up but then in one of the more unlikely events of our clubs history Allan McGregor was injured late in the self same 2016 season and our boy was thrust back into the team. This time however, there were no calamities and City famously won the play offs with him in goal. That plus the Arsenal display were a real redemption but even better was to come.

David Marshall was brought in after we’d got promoted in 2016 but he too seemed to suffer from a confidence crisis, when we’d binned shiny headed balloon popper Mike Phelan, new gaffer and all round sex bomb Marco Silva had no doubt who he wanted in goal and #jakback became a thing again. In an incredibly fun run until the end of the 2016-17 season Jak would more than play his part as City fell probably a win or two short of safety. His penalty save at Southampton to preserve us a point was immense, he’d completed a total 360 degrees change in his perception. Something even the most ardent supporter never saw coming.

5. George Honeyman

Now I’m a George Honeyman guy. I don’t think that’s much of a secret. But to say his time with us didn’t really jump off the page is an understatement. He joined us during the 2019 off-season and even when we’d started relatively well, mainly off the back of Bowen and Grosicki, George didn’t quite click in the City line up. Sometimes occupying a role on the right of midfield the game seemed to pass him by and perhaps the scathing criticisms he’d been given by the Sunderland fans that summer were right.

I won’t bore you with the details again but when the greatest collapse in our club’s history happened (play off spot Jan 1st, bottom by the end of the season) everyone, including George was marked by the failure. It was as low as I can remember being as a City fan in recent times. However, that’s also where the Honeymonster started to completely redeem himself.

The squad of 2020-21 didn’t choose the owners, or the circumstances or the manager, which is essentially why some fans write off the achievements of that year, and also why I don’t. They came together at a time when the whole existence in this country was terrible, and they gave us some of the only joy. In the centre of this success was George, swashbuckling, hard running and goal grabbing, totally relentless as the Tigers would secure their first title in decades and do more for people’s mental health than anyone could measure.

The next season was going to be tough and George was injured at the beginning, but after a slow start City built momentum and by the time the Turkish takeover was completed we had fired ourselves into mid-table safety regardless, something that was above and beyond expectations at the start of the year. George rose to the challenge of that season, City had to edge out the opposition with a few dark arts and non-stop work rate so that the likes of KLP could win the game and he was the epitome of that role. It’s quite possible that his third season was his best and even recently (and certainly two seasons ago) you felt there was a Honeyman sized hole in the midfield, or at the very least that those occupying his previous place in the midfield could have gained by matching his incredible bloodlust to succeed. Words not many City fans would have imagined we’d have said in 2020.

Thanks for reading, keep the faith and UTT.

I’ve more or less recognised in the last couple of years that retro-content is the best content. We all like to reminisce and as a club we have a far deeper and richer history than modern football media ever really acknowledges. Therefore the tales I tell aren’t overly told, so to speak. Gladly in contrast to the mainstream the club has gone quite the other way and the former players being welcomed to the pitch last week was one of many events and pieces of coverage that have nodded to the past recently, not least the kit that celebrates our one hundred and twentieth year with it’s rather magnificent badge. Anyway my “The Boy was a Larker” series which I originally started for the HCST newsletter seems to have been really well received and whether that’s by paying tribute to all time greats like Geovanni or cult heroes like Neil Mann, you, the blessed reader, seem happy to tag along with me.

Anyway… this is an awfully long winded way of saying I began to consider recently, who is below that level. The hall of very good so to speak, and lots of names spring to mind of players who had clear talent and did solid or just plain good jobs for the club, but are perhaps not likely to be inducted to the club’s official HOF any time soon. A few examples? Ahmed Elmohamady, Steve McClaren, Gary Brabin, Ben Burgess, Linton Brown, Caleb Folan, Richard Garcia for a few. Massive variation in talent there, with some way ahead of others but similar impact for City, whereas for an amount of time, they were key players and good players but perhaps lacking that X-factor in what we’d recognise as all time greats.

Then… I went a bit deeper, and thought what about the players who are the next level down? Players who had undeniable talent, who may have even shown that off elsewhere, before or after their stint in East Yorkshire, but for one reason or another, it just didn’t quite happen. What about the nearly men, who at one point we thought were destined to be really special, but their star faded and they never really fulfilled that talent with us. Well I’ve wracked the remains of my brains to think of five such cases. I hope you enjoy it and as ever, send your hate tweets to @thelikesofhull and tell me all about why I was wrong. We’ll go in order of time.

1. Daniel Batty

York City just drew a team in the same league as where I coach in the FA Cup, Biggleswade FC. Now they must have the smallest following of any Step 4 non-league team I’ve ever known. They play in Bedford, 15 miles from the town where they started and share a ground with a local team. They’ve done remarkably well to rise through the leagues, but they quite literally have around 50-100 well wishers as fans, and possibly less. So BFC vs York this month will be quite something, as York will bring maybe 1500 fans, to find out there isn’t anyone there to support the home team really. Quite odd. Also York City is also the home to one Daniel Batty, who is still only 26 years of age. I watched some highlights the other day, he’s still really very good and maybe it’s my city goggles on (a mate calls them Huggles) but I think he’s better than the national league.

When he first came onto the scene after we’d been relegated in 2016 he looked quite a talent. He was part of the all juniors team we put out against Donny in the league cup. Clever on the ball, diminutive in size but with a really good range of passing he seemed very confident and assured for someone so young. By 2018-19 he was more or less in the starting eleven mainly and the same again the next year, but this was now a sinking ship the young man was on. Too often, especially in his last year with us, 4-3-3 FC were outmanned and outgunned in the middle of the park and he seemed more and more of a shadow of his former self. As we were relegated that season, Dan was one of the players that signed a short term extension so he could play on, but after the collapse of the century and inevitable relegation, halfway through the next season in league one he quietly cut his contract and moved on to Fleetwood.

I think (prove me wrong City fans) most of us would go “Yeh, not a bad little player” when you say his name. But I always felt he didn’t quite fulfil the promise and outward confidence he first showed when he burst onto the scene. I hope the eighty two Biggleswade FC fans appreciate his talent in the next couple of weeks.

2. Cameron Stewart

We seemed for a period of time to have a very strong connection with Manchester United, I would say it was Steve Bruce, but it started before. Anoraks could probably tell me who or why it was, but City did very well out of it. Paul McShane, Robbie Brady, James Chester, Joe Dudgeon and Cameron Stewart all came in during the late noughties and early twenty tens and we were generally better off for it. Injuries did for Joe Dudgeon and you could argue they didn’t help Cameron Stewart either. But when he first came in on loan in late 2010, he was sensational. A lightning quick, direct and creative winger that counter attacked teams and lit a fire under the crowd. He was like a great winger of the past and just like Askew, or Jenkinson, the fans loved to see him take on his man.

I remember us beating Sheffield United away on Boxing Day of 2010, we’d thrown away a two goal lead but then in injury time we broke from a
Blades attack via Cameron Stewart and old glass knees himself Jimmy Bullard scored an unlikely winner. He injured his knee (he being Cameron Stewart rather than the tedious curly haired mouthpiece) in February of 2011 but we still signed him permanently in that summer. He played well under Nicky Barmby in 2011-12 after the spanner faced bag of misery Nigel Pearson went somewhere else to put 12 men behind a ball, and indeed the lemon juice slurping, never lost and deserved to, cretin came back and bid 1.5 million pounds for him. Luckily for us (or unluckily in the long run) the Allams held grudges and told him stick it.

Ironically it was when former Manchester United legend Steve Bruce came in the next year that his chances seemed to decline. He was then loaned out and you could tell that he was well thought of because of the caliber of clubs that came knocking, Burnley, Blackburn, Charlton and Leeds all had him on loan, but that spark was gone. I don’t know if it was the knee, or the confidence or both, but by the time he’d had his contract cut by Lincoln City in 2018 he was done in the game, at just 28. A very good player on his day was young Cameron, a shame he never fulfilled his promise.

3. John Welsh

Another player who you could argue was the victim of injury was John Welsh. Joining from Liverpool on loan initially in 2005, at the start of our first season back in the second flight in some 13 years, we was a fairly instant hit. You don’t come through Liverpool’s academy without talent and in what was more of a good league one squad (barring probably Nicky Barmby, Andy Dawson and Bo Myhill) he was an upgrade.

He was tenacious, his range of passing was really very good and was mature beyond his years. I still think City got the better of the deal that sent highly touted winger Paul Anderson in the other direction when we signed him permanently that winter. Peter Taylor moved on that summer and despite the poor start under old ice baths no-personality Parkinson, Welsh was still fairly present.

That was until a horror challenge by Welsh on the B and M Stephen Gerrard, Neil Mellor in March of 2007, that left him with a leg broken in two place and his season was done. I think the two are actually mates, and perhaps there was a sense of trying to get the better of your former colleague. We’ve all been there. This was the beginning of the end for John at City, I think technology has moved on so much in the last decade or so, but an injury that serious in the early two thousands was still a career changer.

He was loaned to Chester, Carlisle and Bury, and in his later years rebuilt his reputation with both Tranmere and Preston. A very good player whose injury came just before the biggest season in our clubs history, how’s your luck?

4. Gary Bradshaw

I have to admit it, this choice is based on a really small sample size. In an era where inevitably our best player would come through the youth team, we’d seen several saviours in the eighties and nineties. Dean Windass, Graeme Atkinson, Andy Payton, Adam Bolder had all donned the black and amber shirt after emerging from our youth team (Windass had a quick diversion to do some bricklaying and playing for North Ferriby obviously).

Gary was hailed as one of the next big things, and when he broke into the team in the early two thousands you could see there was talent there. Not the biggest, he played with a cut and thrust, with a cockiness and an arrogance that suggested bigger things were to come.

I’ve never been more certain that we had some talent on our hands (and been that wrong) as after we demolished Mansfield Town 4-1 in March of 2001. Brian Little had been sacked harshly as we’d drifted to the edge of the play off places, and Billy Russell saw us home until the end of the season. The win that night temporarily re-ignited the hope that we’d push to go up again and Bradshaw scored a cracker and was the chief tormentor of the opposition that day.

Unfortunately he also limped off with a hamstring injury, and we’d “Typical City” the rest of the season, winning a grand total of zero games and sinking back to mid-table obscurity. Tubby Scando Jan Molby wasn’t a fan the next year and he barely featured, then he was loaned to Scarborough shortly after Peter Taylor had arrived, so he presumably agreed with the sausage legged, short filler.

A career in non-league football ensued, and he did pretty well by the by. Helping Ferriby as they climbed the leagues and always scoring goals. I’m sure local fans would know just why Bradshaw never made it, but he actually got taken back to the football league with Cheltenham in 2005, however it was short lived, indeed he was sent off on his debut. If you just saw him that night in 2002 though, you’d be utterly perplexed as to why he didn’t play higher.

5. Ben Morley

Speaking of small sample sizes. Here’s Ben Morley, who in an era where “being alive” might have got you a game, he became one of the most unlikely success stories, overnight and then in the blink of an eye, it was gone.

Given his debut by skullet headed Mark Hateley, Ben played mainly in a wide role. He wasn’t yet 17 on his debut at Hartlepool in 1997. We didn’t have the proverbial container to urinate in during this era so youth players were frequently the only option we had.

Then came Ben’s big moment, I think (and I could be wrong) we pushed him into more of a striker’s role against Luton Town who were a division and infinite points ahead of us in the FA cup, in November of 1999. He responded with an absolutely belting goal in a highly entertaining win that day and City would go on to play Premier League topping Aston Villa in the next round.

I think then in the pure need to survive that season Ben didn’t really fit the bill. Warren Joyce brought in big Colin Alcide and played the underrated David Brown off him, subtle we weren’t… but it worked and we stayed up in a story you all know very well.

As for Ben he left in 2002, via Boston United, then Telford, he then went to play for more local non-league teams. Very pacy and a clever touch on him, like lots in this list I feel that timing wasn’t great for Ben. But we’ll always have that wonder goal in the FA cup.

Thanks for reading UTT.

As I write this my old man is 78 tomorrow. He still goes to City just like he has since he was a little boy with his brothers. He went when we were good, and also quite frequently when we were ten types of shambolic. Anyway… as he’s probably reading this. Happy birthday you old goat, lets hope the boys get a good result on your birthday to cheer you up. True story in the 2008-9 Premier League season the old man went to every single game bar one, Swansea away in the league cup. Not bad work.

Anyway, I’m not here to tell you that. I’m here to tell you another story related to my Father, one that I think all of you can tell in some shape or form… how he got me to be a Hull City fan. For some of you it’s a Dad, for some older brothers or sisters, grandparents or family friends, but it all starts with someone who took us. And that’s the reason why.. for better or worse, we’ve all got the sickness and have gone ever since.

My path into City-dom wasn’t so simple. Despite pretty much every living relative I have of any significance being from Hull, I was born further in the north east, because of Dad’s work, and so a very very young version of me had never really watched Hull City. Add to the fact that the whole of my family were geographically removed from the area, I didn’t really share an early love of the team. Most of my friends supported Sunderland, or the big names of the era like Liverpool. I just loved football and my Dad supported this. With kits of every kind, boots and endless copies of “Match” “Shoot” and “Roy of the Rovers”. I went to Roker Park and he didn’t moan, or make it a big deal. But the crafty old fox had another move up his sleeve.

When I was just eight, we moved nearer. Living in Grimsby (yes, you don’t have to tell me, it’s not the best) now we were only 30 minutes away and weekends would often be spent in Hull at my Uncle and Aunties brilliant house. At the start of 1982 we were emerging from the ashes of the Christopher Needler years and a horse riding, all in wrestling showman and lunatic was about to announce us to be the first team to play on the moon.

Slowly, slowly, I was wooed, with the odd can of tiger cola, and the sights and sounds of the glorious and utterly mesmerising Boothferry Park. I think the first game I remember going to in this era was a 3-2 win vs Bury in April of 1982. Although it doesn’t all come back to me as easily as the next two to three years would, Mutrie, Marwood and Norman were all on show and it was very easy to appreciate the team quickly. We had several stars, probably we were too good to have ever been in the bottom league and to watch them was quite something. By the next season when we’d get promoted to Division 3 under Colin Appleton, my links to previous clubs were gone and my Dad and I and often my cousin Paul would watch City regularly, with this then stretching into away games too.

Football in that era was just utterly captivating. From the sights and sounds of the standing areas, with the billows of smoke travelling up the into the air in the Kempton, and the noise amplified infinitely by the low roof above us. We’d been tuned into the Radio before and after, making the walk up to the ground from a car park that was I think a school playground (historians please confirm?) A different era then with no internet or modern devices to distract us, after the same trudge back to the car, we’d listen to James Alexander Gordon with the scores and then we’d get back to my Uncle and Aunties house and my cousin and I would wait excitedly for the Sports Mail to drop through the door, with it’s pail green magnificence and endless sources of data.

I learned to map read at an incredibly young age, I helped get us to Burnley in the winter of early 1984, only to get there and find out on the radio that the Hull Coach hadn’t and the game was off. Nissan Cherry 1-City Coach 0, apparently. It’s just the best way to grow up and spend your weekends, the kits, the chants, the scarves and the Bovril, floodlit games on a Tuesday at BP, watching Billy Whitehurst terrorise a young Mark Wright for Southampton, and listening to the radio when we couldn’t go. I still remember my Dad jumping around like a lunatic when we’d turned around a 4-1 deficit away at Orient to win 5-4 and my late Grandad Hanson pogo-ing without a care in the world after we’d beaten Derby 3-2 in the Spring of 85 at BP in what would be a deciding factor in our second promotion of the era.

My old man always believed, even in the times when we were dwarfed by the relative success of the Rugby clubs and we couldn’t so much as pay our tax bills. He’d say to me as a kid, if we get the ground sorted, and put a winning team out there, they’ll all come back and we’ll go to the Premier League. That last bit sounded like the rantings of a madman back in the day, but he never ever gave up the faith and damn it he was right, he was right three times over and four Wembley appearances over and European football over. He was right and all the tv watching, big club chasing, smug faced cretins were wrong. 1-0 Geoff.

So, in essence, can I ask you to reminisce about who first took you? If they are still around, can you thank them? If not, say a good word for them, because the Mums, Dads, Aunties, Uncles, Neighbours, Brothers, Friends and mates are the reason we all got to see some sights we never dreamed of. From Deano’s perfect strike at Wembley, to Diame’s diamond finish, from the double overhead kick to beat the League Champions to Abel rushing the away end in the play offs to give us a military salute. Thank you Pops, and thank you to all of the folks that took us to the match. UTT.

Dedicated to John Uzzell and his Dad Roy, who sadly passed away in the last few days after a brave battle with cancer. Rest in peace Roy and we all love you Uzzell. CTID.

Ask yourself an honest question. How many times have you watched Geovanni Deiberson Maurício Gómez’s goal vs Arsenal from the 27th September 2008? I’d say I must have seen in one hundred times by the end of that season and since then I’ve averaged watching it once a month. So all in all… as a rough estimate.. .somewhere in the 300 range.. in reality.. probably more.

It’s everything about it that I never get bored of, it’s the way he ghosts inside the Arsenal defender, effortlessly with the shimmy inside a backtracking defender that suggests he has eyes in the back of his head, it’s about the timing and the movement that creates the space to wind up, and then that shot, that just bends and twists away from the keeper, who at every step must imagine he’ll get there but like a cartoon chase from Looney Tunes, the ball just continues to swoop towards where he isn’t and can’t be. It’s almost as if the shot was hit by Roadrunner and the keeper is Wile.E.Coyote.

Then there’s the gravity of the moment, in reality to that point Arsenal had encamped themselves in our half. We’d bravely repelled them, but it seemed inevitable we’d get swamped and this was only underlined when Paul McShane turned the ball into his own net under pressure at the start of the second half. The game if we’re honest had 4-0 written all over it. But then, like a swooping sword of justice, the most annoying southern fanbase on the face of the planet were sliced in two by the Brazilian genius that was Geo. The energy of the game in such a moment changes and it did. The previously sure footed Arsenal suddenly seemed fallible, the roar from the away end more raucous, the entire dynamic of a game can change (and did) by such a strike of utter genius and so it would prove.

You have a small window as a new Premier League team to get that promotion uplift. Now in 2024 (as I write no promoted team has won) it seems less likely than ever, but sixteen years earlier, with a solid foundation, loud support, a bit of luck and some bravery, it seemed sides could catch the big boys out early doors. Geo was the factor that made that happen back in 2008, whilst we had good players all over the park, Andy Dawson, Michael Turner, Nicky Barmby, Sam Ricketts, Bo Myhill… we had only one that could do the most unlikely, the most other worldly things that the good people who’d stood on the terraces at Boothferry Park could have ever imagined.

Timing, timing, timing. On the first day of the season, against an established Premier League force in Fulham, we’d found ourselves 1-0 down in what was arguably the biggest regular season league game in the club’s history to that point. Geo bursts through the midfield, and hits an arrowing, bullet like strike into the bottom corner that again changes the entire direction and dynamic of a game. If Geo had a gimmick, it would be a script ripper because coaches well established like Hodgson and Wenger did everything right, they planned right, they were on top of and in control of the game, only for it all to tits up because of a five foot eight rocket footed genius, that did not respect their plans one little bit.

I think of the times I’ve supported this club and the players we’ve been lucky enough to see. As a kid, then a young person, you’d never imagine that after Dave Bamber, would come Jay Jay Okocha, or after John Moore would come Geo. I remember trying to actively soak it in, to tell myself to keep these experiences clear in my mind. When Geo scores (I think) the third at West Brom as we pagger them 3-0 away, the players and the fans, and Geo himself all seemed simultaneously as delirious as each other. We know in reality days like this can’t last forever but whilst they are here, there just isn’t any better feeling in football, and perhaps never will be.

Both my old man and my cousin insist the free-kick at Spurs that same autumn was even better. They were there in the flesh that day (I was coaching, something I find myself doing again in the last two years) and on first look, you question the Tottenham keeper to get beat from range at his near post, but it’s the final angle from behind him that really reveals it’s freakish trajectory. Fully 35 yards out, the ball seems to incredibly swerve almost unnaturally away from fellow Brazilian Heurelho Gomes, he just watches, as sure as you can imagine that this ball wasn’t about to do the conga past him from another post code, but that’s exactly what it does.

Geo was the top goal scorer that season and the team would survive a very tricky end sending known cry babies and incomprehensible language spoilers Newcastle United down. A feat that I still don’t think gets enough credit. We did what FFP seemingly can’t and dealt a killer blow to a club whose most notable achievements in modern football for me are 1. Manager rants on interview about fellow manager and 2. Fans take tops off to show their basic stupidity in winter. Perhaps nobody bar Mike Ashley ever did quite so much short term damage to the topless simpletons, and we did it on purpose.

Season two would see glimpses of the same, but never as often. He was still a joy to watch on the ball, but he picked up injuries and at times I think Phil Brown’s eye was caught by other riches. Geo would quietly leave that summer, when it became apparent we couldn’t afford a pair of sports direct socks (double Mike Ashley reference for the win) and would finish his career in the MLS and back home in Brazil.

He’s been back at the club before, you’d imagine it would be an excellent call to make that annually. But I’ll leave you with a slightly different story that underlines why the man was so damned lovable.

Phil Brown’s last game was the 2-1 loss to Arsenal, in which somehow your blog author had got tickets for the players lounge. It’s always interesting to see players off the camera and it tells you a lot about them. Anthony Gardener read the programme nagged by an extremely expensive looking girlfriend and other players mooched about. A young Tom Cairney was left out of the squad that day, despite bursting onto the scene and scoring a great goal at Everton days before. He did look somewhat crestfallen, as you’d expect. Enter Geo, with translator, who didn’t appear to speak more that the odd word of the Queens. He worked the room beautifully having pictures with fans and winding up the two young mascots like a playful Uncle. However then Geo saw Tom Cairney stood by the bar looking glum. He walked over, tapped him on the shoulder, and as Tom turned, put him in a headlock, so he could mess up his very two thousands hair with his other arm. Cairney laughed, Geo stood with him for another two minutes, the whole time with his arm around him, his translator enthusiastically passing to the young player his thoughts and support.

Not only an absolute genius, but clearly a warm and unselfish man.

Geo was the most larker like of any larker that’s played for this club, and maybe ever will. We all should consider ourselves incredibly lucky to have witness him live and that’s something nobody can ever take from us.

UTT.

It doesn’t give me much pleasure to write this blog. As I’m sure a lot of you will have felt the similar pain Friday night. I hope Tim Walter turns it around, I really do, but if (and it’s a fairly big if) he loses two or three more on the bounce, we all know he’s bang in trouble. The biggest two problems for me are that 1. We just don’t really look enough like scoring and 2. We are exposing ourselves into very avoidable counter attack positions, with seemingly very little upside in return. I’m also not sure a “big man” like Bedia up top is going to work either, with the other players and style it doesn’t (albeit at this early stage) seem like a match to me. I think we need a Craig Fagan type, a hunter of lost causes, pressing and running and being relentless. The culture change seems to have been big and I think perhaps there’s not a total buy in to TW’s philosophy at present…but as I often say here… I’m just a fan. I hope the bigger picture is that Walter now has something like the squad he wanted and it begins to take shape. He’s a likeable man, and there’s signs it’s getting there sometimes, however the fact by far our best player has been our right back (as much as I adore Lewie) isn’t a great sign. We look like an admirable runner up, which in the Championship can quickly hurt you. Alfie Gilchrist’s horrendous challenge was screaming for a “Honeyman” to get hold of him and entice the obvious red card. Walter went mad, Kasey Palmer had a moan, that was it. This isn’t the league to be either passive or naive in, and right now, we look both.

Anywho… whilst I was wondering about how long Timmy boy has left unless we pick up some big wins, it made me look at other times we’ve pressed the ejector seat before or around the end of the calendar year (during my fandom) and if it was fair, or if it lead to better things… I hope you enjoy it and as ever, send all your hate tweets to @thelikesofhull on Twitter.

Colin Appleton (October 1989, 16 games in)

Never go back…

There’s been a few players that defy that rule (Peter Skipper, Keith Edwards, Dean Windass) but no modern manager. By the time Colin Appleton came back to the club in May of 1989, so much had changed. The feel good era of 1982-85 was long past and he didn’t have the same sort of young squad who were eager to climb the leagues. Don Robinson had drummed out the brilliant Brian Horton who then wouldn’t come back after his buyers remorse and Eddie Gray proved to be no more than a sticking patch over a growing wound.

Don turned to his old friend that had overseen the first revolution after he had taken over in 1982, probably yearning for those days when anything seemed possible. After leaving City in 1984, after missing out on promotion by goal difference to the second tier, Appleton had a short stint in Swansea where he couldn’t turn around their demise and only lasted 18 games. He later went to Exeter City.

It would very much mirror the Swansea failure again five years later, zero wins in the league and one miserly league cup win later Don pulled the trigger on Colin. It was a wretched start to the season, with a string of draws (sounds familiar) and several tight defeats, some offered hope (a notable 1-1 draw against West Ham) whereas others were somewhat embarrassing like losing to Bournemouth away and being dumped out of the league cup by Grimsby Town.

Did it work?

In a word yes. In came chain smoking, tea cup chucking lunatic Stan Ternant, and City had a surge straight away, beating Bradford away and then winning 4 in a row across the festive period. When the wobbles set in again a remarkable run of six wins out of seven in April and May got us over the line. Probably an underrated turnaround, perhaps forgotten as Ternant would not repeat the feat, his awful start to the next season was to follow.

Mark Hateley (November 1998 18 league games in)

PLC. Please leave club.

Hateley wasn’t just an astonishing failure as City manager, he actually did it by spending more than the average Division 4 manager, not least on himself (who he put on penalties as he had a goal bonus) and several of his friends or contacts from Scotland who he brought in. Sure, it wasn’t all roses in the garden, but we genuinely had no right being quite as bad as we were.

Take stock for a moment that we had David Brown, who was a good finisher at that level, Neil Mann, who was arguably the best left sided player in the league, David D’Auria who had been Scunthorpe’s best midfielder for several years, Mike Edwards, Mark Greaves, the underrated Brian McGinty… we weren’t THAT bad. And boy… were we bad.

3 wins in his first 18 league games, featured a miracle to beat Peterborough at home 1-0 (they battered us in every aspect but the score) and a similarly iffy 2-1 away win at fellow spudguns Scarborough in a game the weather won in reality. His contract terms and the lazy arrogance of tennis prat David Lloyd were the only reason he survived a turgid and embarrassing season one, so the bullet was well and truly overdue by the November of season two.

Did it work?

Did it ever! Warren Joyce was transformed from empty stand celebrating Dolan-ite, to miracle worker and he brought in some heavyweight scrappers. Add the names we had to the likes of Jon Whitney, Gary Brabin, Andy Oakes and Colin Alcide and we essentially assaulted our way to safety. Just one loss from March 13th to the 1st of May would occur and by the time we beat Torquay and a very tubby and tired Neville Southall in the game before last, we were already safe. New owners the Sheffield Stealers were still seen as lovely people and we prepared for our imminent promotion the next season (mmm…)

Jan Molby (October 2002, 12 league games in)

Bye bye belly boy.

This was a strange one and a tenure which still confuses me now. On one hand Molby brought in some good players (Elliott, Green and Ashbee) he also brought in some shockers (Greg Strong anyone? Or the perma-crocked Richard Appleby) and he was another great example of not being impressed by a manager, just because they paggered us. (which he did with aplomb the year before for Kidderminster)

It just felt snake bitten, from the opening day last minute equaliser we let in against Southend, (after Ash was sent off on his debut) to the inevitable final loss against his old club, nothing seemed quite right. There was the odd flash (Shaun Smith’s wonder free kick leading us to a win at Cambridge United) but again, it has to be said, we had a ton, a real ton of talent and two wins in twelve was woeful.

Players would later talk about the big Dane’s arrogance and lack of people skills, whilst his radio interviews did leave a major clue about his character. City fans used to the honesty and humility of Brian Little did not get the same treatment from the chip munching, medal flasher. Adam Pearson had seen enough come October and off he went.

Did it work?

Yes and no. Peter Taylor wasn’t an instant success and we didn’t march up the table to any great degree (13th was about right) but he would already have the foundations in place for the success we’d see in the next two seasons. Delaney, Burgess, Walters etc were ready.

Phil Parkinson (December 2006, 21 league games in)

Ice baths weren’t nice baths.

A little like Molby, Parky got the green light because Colchester looked really good against City. A little like Molby, this wasn’t an indication he could do the same with us. Parkinson did carry the cross of taking over a very well liked manager in Peter Taylor, who had gathered a strong squad, but maybe also some strong characters, who weren’t fans of Phil Parkinson and his fitness and training methods.

Whether it was top level players like Barmby, or more traditional EFL lads like Ashbee or Parkin, they weren’t mad for ice baths or diets, and the 4 wins in twenty one reflected this. Again you could point to some good recruitment (Forster, Ricketts and Turner) but if you ever wanted to see a team that weren’t playing for their manager, seek out Colchester United 5 Hull City 1. It could and should have been 10, and the players simply downed tools and refused to do what Parkinson wanted. Craig Fagan came to apologise, Bo Myhill turned to the fans as he ignored an unmarked full back in space for the fifth time to say “I’m sorry, it’s what I’m told to do”

One more paggering by Southampton at home was enough, Parky was out at the start of December. He’s gone on to do some good things since, (promoted at Bradford and Wrexham twice) but also players have spoken about a slippery exterior to him, that’s difficult to warm to.

Did it work?

Yes, absolutely. Phil Brown took over (some might say he did an inside job getting the job in the first place) kept us up against all odds, re-signed Dean Windass, who scored at Cardiff second to last game, to secure survival, sending a small club in North Yorkshire to a level that suited them more.

Leonid Slutsky (December 2017, 20 league games in)

From Russia with losses.

Poor old Lenny. He loved Hull bless him and I’m not sure that many people could have turned around the loony bin we were in 2017. Relegation the year before, a fanbase full of anger and frustration and an ownership tone deaf to their cries.

Everyone that could be sold was (Robertson, Maguire and Clucas most notably) and in a slight defence of the club, plenty was spent to replace them (decent money spent on Nouha Dicko, Jon Toral, Jackson Irvine, Kevin Stewart etc). It just wasn’t happening. There were some fun wins (6-1 at home to Birmingham, 4-1 at home to Burton) but the expectation of play-offs was nowhere near at all. And despite an equaliser deep into injury time by Old Snakey Dawson at Massive Wednesday, the writing was on the wall. Fun Lenny would only see one Hull fair, lovely guy, but maybe not the man for what was a huge job.

Did it work?

I mean… yes to be honest. Nigel Adkins might have been about as unsexy an appointment as you could imagine, but he brought a stoic quality to what had been a very lightweight team. We’d sit comfy in eighteenth, despite shipping a whopping seventy goals, that’s also what we scored. It wasn’t a great long term vision though and delayed our inevitable demise by a year or two.

Shota Arveladze (September 2022, 11 games)

Shota to pieces.

Shota wasn’t the right man. A nice man? Probably? But he was comfortable for the new owners, as they knew him and his appointment meant that they were probably recruiting rather than him. He did ok after Grant McCann had gone and we stayed up easily. The new owners kick was in and Mr Lewis Potter was too much for anyone who wasn’t top Champ class in that run in.

Many many changes later and the 2022-23 season saw great expectations. A little like Hateley many moons before Shota’s wins were a tad on the fortuitous side. A late deflected beat Bristol City, and both Norwich and Coventry would feel short changed in tight wins that City pulled off.

Speaking of “off” at this point, that’s where the wheels went. We made QPR look like they had Pep as coach in a shambolic 3-1 loss, got bullied by Sheffield United at home 2-0 and then on Sky the worst was to come. Swansea were given goals like we’d began some sort of championship charity to save other teams and 3-0 flattered us.

Shota got the old shepherd’s crook after a 2-0 defeat at home to Luton and that was that. Lovely fella, but in all realities, out of his depth at all levels.

Did it work?

Yep. Liam Rosenior came in, sorted the leaky defence, took us to mid-table and galvanised the fan base once again. We weren’t necessarily super exiting, but we were extremely competent and no longer tried to play like Bobby Moore’s allied team in escape to victory.

Conclusion.

More cases of it being successful than not, pulling the trigger whilst the leaves fall historically. Timmy boy needs a win or two and soon, or I could be writing an appendix to this next year. Football really isn’t fair at times, in gaffers like Parkinson and Slutsky, we had some proven and established talent. It just doesn’t mean that it’s going to work I’m afraid. Timing is the biggest factor.

Let’s hope it ends well this time.

Thanks for reading UTT.

In an interview a few years ago Curtis Davies was asked “What was your greatest moment in football?” And he answered “Scoring in the FA Cup final” they then asked him for his lowest moment and he said “Losing the Fa cup final”

The fact these two events were less than two hours apart is quite incredible.

As I stood high in the stands that day clapping the most dogged and utterly brave performance we’d just witnessed from our club the image of a hobbled and beaten Curtis, still acknowledging the crowd filled me with both pride and despair in equal measure. I’m genuinely not sure if I ever saw a more super human effort to win one game by a Hull City player. He’d finished extra time, barely able to walk, thrown up top as City desperately pushed for an equaliser which only 1 in 92 of the clubs in the football league would have begrudged us.

It wasn’t as if Curtis didn’t have form for laying down in traffic to win a game. During a four year stint at the club from 2013-17 and 123 appearances Curtis would lead from the front and set the tone, he was organised, strong, read a game with ease and like all the great ones his last challenge was inevitably his best one.

Curtis himself probably wouldn’t fully understand the depth of compliment by calling him a modern version of Peter Skipper but I’m sure that reading this blog, many of you do. He was a proper defender whose game was based on stopping the opposing team and shutting the door on them with impeccable timing.

The fact he was an integral part of the most successful team we’ve ever had, who won promotion and eased to safety in the Premier League then qualified for Europe was one thing. But he was also the man to step up when you were on your backside metaphorically. Two cases in point, it was Curtis who put up the famous squad photo in 2016 when we had barely a seven a side team of senior pros, but the same group beat the Champions Leicester on the opening day, you only do that with professionals like him and just a few months before this City were cruising at 3-0 up in the first leg of the play off semi finals against Derby County. However it quickly went south in the second leg and we found ourselves 2-0 down at half time. Reportedly it was Curtis and Michael Dawson who took over that half time team talk and made it clear that we wouldn’t concede again.., and 2-0 it stayed.

It’s amazing how quickly football changes in terms of the demands we make of defenders and Marco Silva wanted slicker and more technical defenders, so in that 2016-17 season Curtis was phased out for a back three of Ranocchia, Dawson and Maguire. Far be it from me to nit pick at one of the better managers we’ve seen at the K.Com but for all our swashbuckling that spring we did also have a nasty habit of letting in some soft goals from crosses. Perhaps away from home the big man might have got us a point or two more that we so desperately needed.

After that season Curtis quietly joined Derby where he’d do similarly sterling work. Normally leaving City for a club we don’t exactly love means a few choice words from the fanbase but they didn’t forget… they knew. So when the likes of Curt, Huddz or Rosey returned… they were never really given the treatment.

Obviously last month Curtis called time on a hell of a career, moving to work with Sky in punditry, which led me to this piece. He’s right up there for me with our best ever defenders, he wasn’t quite as marauding as Maguire, or as slick as Jacob Greaves, but I defy anyone to give me a defender that brought more bloody minded determination, professionalism and will to win than Curtis.

I’m sure all City fans would join me in wishing him a happy retirement and would also conclude that Curtis Davies was some larker.

Thanks for reading and happy new season. UTT.

So this week we’ve finally had the news confirmed of the new manager. By all accounts Tim Walter seems to have both a good pedigree and is very keen to play attack minded football. In a couple of months he could win some games and be king of the hill or fail to and be stig of the dump… that’s how things tend to take shape at City and we’ll just have to wait and see. There’ll be some ins and outs in the meantime and a lot of us will put city on the back burner until after the Euros. It’ll certainly not be boring as that’s something City just don’t tend to be very good at.

Anywho… with this being our first ever gaffer from Germany, it made me think about the other times we’ve dabbled in the international waters with varied success and failure, so without much current content bar speculation, I thought I’d dig into those experiments and take us on a short trip through the highs and lows they provided us with. I’ve excluded managers who are British, just for clarity. Hope you enjoy it and as ever send your hate tweets to @thelikesofhull on Twitter (yeh, I’m not calling it X any time soon)

4th Jan Molby

Jan was the Ryan Williams of gaffers. Brought in mainly as they spanked us the season before (just as the four foot squint eyed winger had for Chesterfield a couple of years before) only for us to find out that it was probably more about us being terrible than than either actually being very good.

Molby was still quite a name in this era and with some serious money being spent during the off-season expectations were exceedingly high. The first game was a 2-2 draw at home to Southend in which we threw away the lead twice and I think (stattos prove me wrong) a certain Mr. Ashbee saw red. The game would be a metaphor for what was to come, City were clearly able and much more capable than in previous years, but we just couldn’t seem to get out of our own way.

It would be into September before we got our first win with a 2-1 victory at Cambridge United and although we then followed that up with a 4-0 home thrashing of Carlisle, we soon returned to our inept habits and lost 3-1 at home to Macclesfield. After a humiliating defeat at his old club Kidderminster the end was nigh and the chip shops of East Yorkshire would have flags at half mast before the end of October as Adam Pearson had seen enough.

On the brighter side he did bring in a couple of capable players in Ashbee and future god botherer Stuart Elliott, but then he also brought in Richie “the limp” Appleby who was about as much use for us as Jason Lokilo in a world’s strongest man car pull.

Players would later talk about the big Dane’s arrogance and unfortunate manner, which may have explained much of the above abject failure. Luckily the Scandinavian scran devourer was about to be replaced by someone not half bad…but that’s another story.

3rd Shota Arveladze

The first major appointment of the new era had a fairly straightforward mission straight away… keep us in the Championship. To be fair he did this fairly easily, although it could be argued that much of the hard work was already done. However that short stint in the spring of 2022 wasn’t too bad. Some cracking wins came on the road at Middlesborough, Peterborough and Coventry and all seemed pretty positive.

Looking back much of what was in place was pretty good, Keane Lewis Potter was developing into the sort of striker that would turn heads in the Premier League and we were defensively sound with Greaves, Jones, Fleming, Ingram etc in place. The summer again raised expectations with some big name signings in the name of Tufan, Seri and Estupinan to name just a few but much like the aforementioned Dane, things just didn’t really get going. Wins in the first three home games papered over some sizable cracks and the 3-1 loss at QPR on the 30th August would start a five game losing streak that exposed both the team and the manager in charge.

A farcical 3-0 defeat at Swansea, live on Sky would be the rather large nail in the coffin of the Georgian’s short stay. Always likeable, the sacking still felt inevitable, although it’s up for debate about how much if any control he had with the ins and outs of that summer.

2nd Leonid Slutsky

Speaking of those who may not have had control over the ins and outs, I give you the smiley faced, 10p slot playing Russian who was given a particularly short shrift in 2017.

After relegation from the Premier League and at the height of the protests towards the owners in stepped former national manager Lenny Sluts. It’s hard to say there were high expectations as a number of successful players left that summer. Andy Roberton, Harry Maguire and Sam Clucas were all moved on for a pretty penny.

Not exactly our greatest transfer window featured some names with high expectation but pretty uninspired performances. The Hull City Hall of Fame won’t be nominating Stephen Kingsley, Jon Toral or Nouha Dicko anytime soon. We also dipped into the loan market with three Chelsea players, and again to no great acclaim, Michael Hector was a calamity, Ola Aina was able but raw and at times naïve, whilst Fikayo Tomori would go onto big things, but that wasn’t very apparent seven years ago.

There were moments, like with most managers where things looked on the up, notably the 6-1 pounding of Birmingham City at home, but the atmosphere was often sour in the KC with the acrimonious relationship with the Allam family hitting new lows and the 3-2 loss at home to Nottingham Forest saw more protests in the north stand that overshadowed another hit and miss performance.

A seven game run without a win ensued and not even a last minute equaliser by Michael “I’ll sulk at the Holiday Inn Nottingham until I get my move” Dawson could save the likeable Russian. Nigel Adkins was in the crowd at Hillsborough with a bowl of muesli and that was pretty much that. Dasvidaniya Lenny.

1st Marco Silva

Ironic really that I know I’ll get a hard time for putting a bloke first who got us relegated (technically) yet he’s far and away the best foreign manager to lead this club in my eyes and I’d guess plenty of you too.

Marco really took over a hot mess. The most dysfunctional off-season ever from the club that had plenty of high bars to jump in terms of chaos, led inevitably where it was always going to, the bottom three of the Premier League. Despite the opening day heroics against champions Leicester and some valiant performances afterwards City were in free fall.

Exit Mike Phelan and enter the Portuguese heartthrob himself. With little time to spare Marco recruited quickly at the end of the January window and brought in some real crackers. Andre Ranocchia, Kamil Grosicki, Lazar Markovic and Oumar Niasse were all quick improvements over what we’d seen in the first half of the season and suddenly there was a bit of hope.

Performances were on the upturn and a 3-1 win at home to Bournemouth in MS’s first game announced that this City team weren’t going to go quietly. At home we were at times sensational and wins against Liverpool, West Ham, Swansea, Middlesborough and Watford suggested that we could dig ourselves out of this sizeable hole.

However, there were two problems. One, the zonal marking system never seemed to work and we shipped goals from set pieces, two we just couldn’t replicate the form away from home. A smash and grab loss at home to Sunderland, mainly based on the heroics of Jordan Pickford essentially was the hammer blow and it was over in reality before the away game at Crystal Palace on the penultimate week.

It’s a cliche I know, but it’s the hope that kills you and Marco Silva gave us that when essentially none was to be had. We were exciting and attacking again, and whilst the rollercoaster ride wouldn’t lead to survival, it was a commendable effort considering the baggage he inherited. Silva has gone on to success, particularly at Fulham and if Tiger Tim is as canny and knowledgeable as Marco… we might just be ok next year.

Thanks for reading folks. UTT.

Seems like yesterday I was doing the 22-23 grades, in which I got some flack for thinking Harry Vaughan was the second coming of Jarod Bowen, but here we are. A season that divided fans, somewhere between progress and improvement and an opportunity lost, it just seems to depend on your perspective. From a personal point of view coaching has meant that most of my City input has disappointingly been on a screen, I hope to correct this more next season. However, with the Sky games covering quite a bit and a few tenner payments to the club I think I’ve got enough covered to summarise the players and outcomes. Perhaps it’s a blessed relief I wasn’t about as the last game I saw was the turgid 1-0 defeat against 1-man Sunderland on Boxing Day… maybe it’s best with my record if I keep a low profile! I’ve only done the main appearance makers in my grades as if I tried everyone, I’ll be writing when we kick off next season..

As ever, thanks for reading, give me a like or a comment or a retweet, it would be really appreciated. It’s a big summer for the club now, and one that will surely definitively indicate if we’re going to seriously pursue promotion to the top league. I’m not entirely sure if it’s a “promised land” anymore, but that’s another debate. Have a relaxing and safe off-season folks and I hope to see slightly more of you next year.

Grades

Keepers

Matt Ingram B- 

Matt did Matt things pre-Allsop coming in. Solid enough, if not inspirational. Ended up not on the bench because of Pandur coming in. Can’t see him being here going forward. Thanks for the promotion Matt and keep that military haircut forever.

Ryan Allsop C-

Clear why Ryan was brought in, his feet and comfort on the ball helped us play out, he clearly had the trust of the former manager, but clearly not the fans. There were some very good saves and highlights and it’s arguable we were better out from the back with him in. However, there were simply too many soft, near post and save-able goals. It happened too often. With the change in manager it’s got to be less than likely that Allsop is the starter next year.

Defence

Lewis Coyle B+

 I did ponder an A grade for him. I’d say this has been his best season in the shirt. He seems like a lot of players from yesteryear that are remembered fondly (See Andy Dawson) to simply grow with the team. Incredible fitness and ability to cover ground goes a long way. Sometimes like any full back he could have a tough time with talented opposition, but you could judge Lewis by when he didn’t play, we missed him. With the perhaps inevitable departure of Jacob Greaves, Lewis is now the absolute leader of this team, that’s not a bad starting point.

Alfie Jones B

Alfie is low key one of the players at City I really like. He adjusts to the new style, he’s dependable and consistent. A solid 7 out of ten most games. Again, like others he had his wobbles but the question will be to find him a partner to replace Greaves, rather than move on from him. I like lots of others hope that might be Ronnie Edwards at Peterborough.

Jacob Greaves A-

Doesn’t football just break your heart? The young man we saw grow and grow since the league one title is probably ready to fly the nest. Can we begrudge him? No, but we can just hope he signs for a club worthy of his talent. He was a tower of strength all season. Not perfect, but boy was he strong. Came out with the ball to good effect, a couple of very important goals. Setting the tone and fulfilling the role as good as any of the greats. When my southern premier league mates ask, I describe him as a poor mans John Stones, which almost seems harsh on him, he’s graceful, his timing is immense and that left foot is not a centre backs. Let’s hope he goes on to greatness.

Matty Jacob B

We spent half the season looking for a good left back when one was right under our noses. Sure, he’s not the attacking force that Ryan Giles is, but with financial pressures in other positions it’s a no brainer to stick with the Yorkshire born defender. Was solid overall, very good in the air, and stuck to the plan of the passing philosophy. Hopefully he grows as we do.

Sean McLaughlin C

A big decision is in the offing for Sean. I don’t see him being a starter in this line up, and he’s only 27. He’s an able lad and it might be the right decision for him to think career first. Came in on occasion and wasn’t awful. Does he lack the pace to play in the current team? Perhaps. Again, if he does move on, he’ll go with fond memories and good wishes from the fans and club.

Ryan Giles C

Looked lovely on the ball and a threat on the counter attack. Had some iffy moments defending, then got hurt, lost his place and didn’t get it back. I think most of us would give a hard pass to paying 4 or 5 million quid to retain his services.

Ruben Vinagre C-

Pacey and dangerous. Hamstrings like paper mache. Off to Italy he went.

Cyrus Christie C- Didn’t look the same player as last year. A shame, did age catch up with him? Can’t imagine he’ll be here next season.

Midfield

Ozan Tufan B+

Such a good story. From Watford cast off to the great entertainer. He’s a joy to watch in full flight as well as being a match winner. Got in the best nick we’ve seen him and reaped the rewards. Like many mercurial talents throughout the years Ozan is a big fan favourite. He’s a reason to pay the admissions fee. Hope he continues his journey with us.

Tyler Morton B

Played very well. Neat feet, clever on the ball and able to get himself out of tricky situations. Had the odd game where he faded and didn’t make a strong enough impression but overall, I don’t think many of us would mind a second dance. Strongly represented the way Liam Rosenior wanted to play football, I think his coming back would very much depend on the appointment made.

Jean Michel Seri B

He is a classy old boy is Mr Seri. Still rats around and presses well over short distances, he allows the current style to work. Understated in some ways but also very consistent. He’s probably on a fair whack, so could be someone who may not be here next year (is he on a 2 year deal with a follow on or a 3? I can’t remember) but we’ll be pushed to find somebody as fluid and calm as him.

Greg Doherty C

What else could he do? He wasn’t really going to play. Again, somebody will sign a really good footballer and good character. His contribution to our title winning season should not be forgotten.

Adama Traore C-

Took a step backwards this year. Failed to impress despite getting lots of chances. His miss against Leeds will haunt me forever. His contract is up and I think we bid him farewell.

Regan Slater B

Could have put him down as a defender. Does any job that needs doing. Got some flack for the penalty against Leeds that I thought was unjust. We need 11 Regan Slaters on the pitch in terms of industry and application. He’s such a valuable commodity for the club. More power to him.

Scott Twine C-

Arrived to great acclaim. Didn’t fulfil this. Did a couple of bits, scored a nice free kick. But just wasn’t impactful. Looked like what he now is, an average Bristol City midfielder. Wasn’t missed.

Abdul Omur B+

Bright and made impact, was a joy to watch at times. Was an outstanding signing in January and you had to pinch yourself to remind yourself he’s our player. His touch and vision in the top third might be as good as we have. All that and he’s not really had time to adjust to his new surroundings yet. Would be a sneaky good bet for next year’s awards.

Attackers

Liam Delap B+

Most everything you’d want in a number 9. Mobile, strong, can finish, will run hard. His absence probably in all likeliness meant we missed the play offs as we didn’t, or couldn’t seem to replace him. If Man City are selling I guess it’s unlikely we’ll be able to match the Premier League clubs that will have seen a Premier League player this season.

Aaron Connolly C+

I guess we’ll have to wait for a decade until he does “Undr the cosh”. Came in on a one-year deal which seemed odd, but when he was good, he was very good (see Stoke away). Does he have demons? Is he a bad egg? Hard to tell but he was persona non grata for the back end of the year. He’ll be off now and has as good as said his goodbyes. There’s a player in there. We just didn’t see enough of it.

Noah Ohio B-

Came in towards the end and scored a couple of big goals. Was more of an impact sub. I felt at times his touch was a little wayward for this level, but he did work hard and popped up in some good places. Could he be back? It wouldn’t shock me. Will depend on who comes in.

Anass Zaroury C

Came in to much promise and good reports from Burnley fans. Huffed and puffed but struggled to make impact. Did score a couple but the false nine experiment didn’t really work. Can’t see he’ll be back, but he’ll be nailed on to score a 25 yard screamer at the K.Com for Wooden Seats FC in 24-25.

Fabio Cavalho A-

One of those players that meant you to check to make sure you weren’t in some sort of a fever dream or the subject of an elaborate hoax because you really were witnessing him. He shouldn’t play for us surely? I thought overall, he more than played his part, scoring some cracking goals and leading the attack. A special, special talent that unless city have garnered the power of hypnotism, won’t be back.

Jaden Philogene B+

Was incredible pre-injury and on for player of the season. Got hurt and when he returned he was more hit and miss. People got in a tizzy because he didn’t clap enough, but I felt that was much ado about nothing. Next to Greaves he’s our most sellable asset and there’s every chance he won’t be a clapping a Premier League club’s fans next season.

Billy Sharp D

I’ll try to be kind. As Frankie Howard said, “it’s wicked to mock the afflicted”. The most puzzling signing of the season. Two years ago maybe, but not now. Was no doubt a really good player to have in the group and an example but wasn’t actually any real use on the pitch. Brought in to score goals. He didn’t.

Thanks for reading. I had to go through a big edit post-Liam’s departure but hopefully it’s ok. Pop your hate tweets on @thelikesofhull on twitter. I hope you all have fun googling random foreign gaffers in the next week and trying to follow where planes are flying. As the Paul Whitehouse character used to say in the Fast Show. “Does anyone fancy a pint?” Enjoy the summer… UTT.